Hypochondriac - Health Anxiety Ruining My Life
Aug 10, 2014
I had colon cancer in Jan. 2009 and a liver met in early 2012. Surgery for both and last blood work and CT was fine. Since the liver resection in 2012, I suffer from disease of the day! Everything is major in my mind. Doctor has me on Klonopin .5mg. We'd tried Ativan but it lasted for a few hours and the panic was back.
Is there a type of therapy or treatment for someone who is a hypochondriac? My gastro said he believes it PTSD and that it's common after major surgeries and cancers but I hate being like this.
The fears are really stupid. Most people wouldn't even notice the things I go to the walk in clinic for. I sometimes get so bad I go 3 times a week and I can't afford it!
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I'm 19 years old and since having a baby I have suffered with anxiety. Standing in queues makes me feel like I'm going to pass out and even going out on my own worries me. After seeing a psychic a few months ago she told me to go for a smear. Well that set me off worrying even more! Even though everything she told me was wrong that really plays on my mind and it's stopping me from sleeping as even though I have no symptoms in convinced I have cancer! I don't know what to do and I am too embarrassed to talk to partner I case he thinks I'm being silly!
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I have a very bad case of hypochondria and cyberchondria !
I'm 26 years old and my anxiety is worse than ever. I've always been nervous even as a kid went through stages where I wouldn't leave the house because I was going to get eaten by a dog, struck by lightning etc. All very normal things of course! Haha.
So about 6 months ago I started working in a doctors surgery as a receptionist. And out of nowhere I began to have these symptoms and feelings that were all very new to me. And over the last few months I've diagnosed myself with more diseases than I've had hot dinners! I'd go to bed at night and my heart would be pounding and racing as if I'd just ran a marathon where in fact all I was doing was lying still. I ten began to experience pains in my left arm. Which worried me due to the connection between these 2 symptoms. Then eventually I started having the dreaded chest pains. That's it. I had heart disease and I was going to lose my life to a heart attack. This is when my life really went downhill. So I had reassurance from my dr that it was anxiety. Had a few weeks of cbt. Started to feel better. Then my therapist told me she was happy with the way I'd progressed and referred me back to my gp's care. Since stopping my cbt my symptoms have returned with a vengeance and I keep telling myself 'it can't be a coincidence of course they're back because your no longer have reassurance from a therapist' but it isn't helping. I've recently started having globus symptoms which are driving me crazy in thinking my throat is going to physically close up and that I won't be able to breath. Visited my gp who put it down to my GERD which is linked with my anxiety. I guess all I'm trying to ask is if I'm not the only one in this wicked situation. And is it affecting everyone else lives likes it's affecting and ruining mine. Am I the only one who keeps getting reassurance from therapists and GPs and still believe there's something seriously wrong with me?? Just don't want to do anything anymore. Feel like utter s**t all the time (which really isn't like me at all). Some advice also on whether you think me working in a GP's surgery is somehow affecting my health anxiety would be brilliant.
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Since I can remember, I have been depressed, I suffered from depression and anxiety from a very very young age, I can remember wanting to die as young as 7 years old, I'm now 28, I have had 2 jobs in my life both lasted weeks. Its ruined relationships, ruined friendships, ruined my life completely. I lost the love of my life, I have no work experience, odd qualification here and there, nothing serious and all unrelated. I had a stormy and mentally abusive childhood, I have been in and out of CBT nothing seemed to work and considering they're here to help after a couple of sessions, I was ignored, apparently I was entitled to 10 sessions. Anyway, I could be here all day going on and on about my past. When I was 24, I started working on it myself, (the doctors all refused to up my medication of 40 mg fluoxetine) even though I wanted to die. I've never had support off anyone, friends, family, noone so I had to do something, I started the gym, did my own research on mental health and CBT and started to feel better, I have always worked out and been on contraception since 16 to even my hormones, it didn't make much difference. changing my mind set and thinking "f*ck you all" helped me. Then I met a man and fell deeply in love, its comfortable and a calm loving relationship I was so happy in the beginning, we then had a baby, my pregnancy completely lifted my mood, I felt amazing! I had extreme morning sickness and horrendously bad anemia with constantly iron transfusions but my depression was nowhere to be seen, I was so blessed and couldn't believe how well I was doing, but my anxiety never left, my agoraphobia was clearly here to stay. My partner earns enough and I didn't really need to go anywhere so it wasn't a problem (my anxiety and agoraphobia is where I cannot go anywhere alone, cannot get public transport, cannot speak to people I don't know or haven't known closely for years, I cannot do normal things like go the shop for bread, make a doctor's appointment) the list goes on, I started making bits of progress like going for walks etc, my doctors would never treat my anxiety and agoraphobia saying when my depression is gone, that will be gone. But now I dont feel depressed why can't I do it? Anyway I was fine until my partner lost his well paid job, and got a low paying job and it hot me thinking about work, something that in my 28 years I've basically never done before, I know I'll be fine working but getting through these stages to have a job is beyond difficult for me. If I go online looking for work, just scrolling through, my heart starts to pound, my skin is cold, my chest is tight, I cant breathe and my eyes start to well up. Even now typing it I'm struggling to keep it together, a few weeks ago i decided to get a train alone to try and "just get on with it" like idiots tell me to do, the train was delayed and I had to get ones i didn't know, so right there on the platform I crouched down into a ball and was hysterical, crying my eyes out and having a full blown anxiety attack, people were asking if I wanted an ambulance, in the end security had to escort me home on the train, I was so embarrassed. I need help, doctors wont listen and say I'm depressed and if i fix that my anxiety will go but I know I'm not depressed right now, but I won't lie, if this carries on, it'll probably come back, I want to work more than anything, I cant make a cv without getting hysterical, I cant look for jobs, I definitely couldn't interview, I was once asked to leave an interview because of the state I was in.
I am yet to find anyone with the same level of anxiety as me, this is ruined my life and preventing me from working, something I can't avoid!
Can anyone point me in the direction of help? Is there even treatment for anxiety?
My daily routine is, I wake up with my daughter, we have breakfast then get washed and dressed and go for a walk down the back lane where no one will see me for about an hour, then home, she'll nap whilst I workout, mostly yoga, then dinner (we both eat extremely healthy that's very important to me) then we either get a visit off someone or I'll get a lift to a friends house then home for tea with daddy, movies, bath&bed. I love my life, absolutely love it. But I want/need to work for money and my own sanity, I am a role model now and I need to get this sorted before my daughter is aware.
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I'm a 17 year old female and over the past few years I've suffered awful social and general anxiety. I've always had hypochondriac tendencies but over the past 6 months, it's really kicked in, to the point where I'm getting incredibly down and possibly depressed. In the beginning of December 2015, I developed stomach pains and cramps and immediately alarm bells started ringing. I became OBSESSED. I spent most of my day googling, posting in forums, going to the doctors. I got so much blood taken and everything was perfect, by CBC was like 2/100 or something which meant I was incredibly healthy and everything else was totally okay. I had urine tests, once it showed a tiny bit of blood and protein but I had a later one and it was totally fine. I then demanded an abdominal ultrasound and spent a ridiculous amount of money on it privately so I didn't have to wait and it came back totally fine too, so there's obviously nothing major going on. I still get the stomach and back pain but it is better and I only really get it bad if I'm walking a long distance. From what I've heard, anxiety can really give you physical symptoms. Anyway, after realising that my grandfather passed away from colon cancer, I've basically self diagnosed myself with this. I feel awful about it because I know there's people out there who are seriously suffering. I'm obsessed with checking and tracking my bowel movements, and it got to the point where I was straining to go even when I didn't need to and this led to bleeding, hence, me going even more crazy with fear. The bleeding only happened once on my stool and once from my actual ... You know, and I'm still terrified. I have no fatigue and I'm generally eating well. Another thing which doesn't help is that I think I've lost a little bit of weight, but it's most likely due to the fact that over the last few weeks I've had an exceptionally good diet and I've drunk so much water, which would obviously make you lose weight, but because I'm already quite slim, I've been worried.
Anyway, as you can tell, I'm constantly worrying about something. A headache=meningitis, stomach pain in the right means I automatically have appendicitis and the other week, I thought I had a brain tumor because I saw spots. It's getting me down and I'm convinced I'm going to die randomly one day from the cancer or whatever inside killing me. Does anyone feel the same or have any way to help me at all? Thank you so much.
I'd also like to add that I'm starting CBT and therapy but it's not often so a lot of the time I'm at home for a few weeks just dwelling on my health.
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Just wanted to ask people who suffer with cfs like me if they have the same problems as me. When I was 16 I had glandular fever I was off school for 3 months and since then I'm now 24 I've never been fully the same as before. I got diagnosed with cfs last year after all this time! I usually have 5 months out of the year where I'm bed bound, the other 7 months I have to "pace" myself which I find really hard when I've missed out on so much whilst been in bed I want to see my friends, family etc. I've been bed bound again for 5 weeks up to now and for the first time really my anxiety is out of control, I find sitting in doctors for my appointments unbearable, I feel like I'm going to faint. I can't bear my friends to come and see me because my anxiety is that bad.
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I've got a 3 year old son and since he was born I've suffered with depression, anxiety, health anxiety and PTSD. I'm just at the end of my degree which is stressful but it is for everyone. For the past 6 months or so (since my relationship ended with my son's dad) I've had the worst health anxiety and it's completely taken over my life.
I'm constantly going to the doctors or the hospital and panicking only to find that they don't really take me seriously anymore which just makes everything worse.
My symptoms from the past few months include.. pelvic pain, bleeding between periods, dizziness, palpitations, loss of appetite, IBS like symptoms whenever I do eat, which has in turn caused weight loss, insomnia, hot/cold flashes, and so many more. Basically, I just feel ill all the time and obviously I've convinced myself I've got cervical cancer and many other types of cancer.
My doctor keeps telling me that I am very stressed and this is a normal response, but it doesn't help and I'm driving myself mad worrying that there's something seriously wrong with me and I'm going to leave my son without a mum.
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Basically, I have had a terrible month with (what I hope) is health anxiety. Over the last month I have had the following symptoms:
abdominal pain
hip pain
back pain (lower mostly, but entire back at times)
dizziness
tingly in hands and feet
muscle tremors
"bubbly" feeling in legs
mind fog, not being able to concentrate, almost out of body feeling
chest pain
palpitations
bleeding between periods
constipation/diarrhea
fatigue
feeling of throat closing up
many others I'm forgetting in this moment
I have been to multiple doctors and specialists and urgent care and the emergency room and have had the following tests done in the last 4 weeks (all normal):
ekg (2)
abdominal ct scan
pelvic exam
abdominal/pelvic ultrasound
blood tests -cbc, lyme, electrolytes
echocardiogram
24 hour holter monitor
MRI of lower lumbar
x-ray of cervical spine
nerve conduction test
My continued fears (in no particular order) are:
blood clot
cancer (bone, uterine, etc)
bladder/kidney problems
aneurysm
circulation problems
MS
reproductive disease
that I'm actually crazy
The only thing that any of these tests showed was bacterial vaginosis (sorry for being so descriptive), of which I actually had no symptoms and think was just a secondary random problem, took antibiotics. And the MRI showed a transitional vertebrae (fusion of pelvis and spine) which they said I would have had since birth and usually causes no problems. I have a follow up with an orthopedist in a month or so, but my all my symptoms don't make sense with just that. I have been given Zantac for acid reflux (which I hated and only took twice), ibuprofen for pain (doesn't work), lorazepam as needed.
I am OBSESSED with googling my symptoms. I told myself I wasn't going to do it all today and I already have about 12 times. I was in the emergency room until midnight last night thinking I had a kidney stone or something and they found nothing wrong with me and told me to follow up with my primary.
My biggest issue right now is I am leaving for an 11 day vacation to Jamaica on Sunday (obviously that's not a problem, I should be ecstatic), but I am CONVINCED there is something wrong with me and I will be sick in a third world country. I am honestly considering not going.
For the record, I recognize that I'm an anxious person. I worry incessantly about anything and everything. I am moody and irritable. My anxiety has waxed and waned through the years, have tried medication but never stuck with it. For the most part I can manage it and live my life, but this has been the month from hell! I honestly believe I have something physically wrong with me and that all these CANNOT be anxiety symptoms. I have nothing to feel anxious about, and like I said before, should actually be looking forward to my upcoming vacation (I am terrified of flying, but haven't really been thinking of that as I've been consumed with these health problems). The only thing that sort of works is to take a lorazapam, which doesn't make my symptoms go away completely, but just makes me feel a little calmer about it.
I feel like once you've been labeled with anxiety, doctors chalk all your symptoms up to that. The logical part of my brain tells me that I've had a billion tests and if there was anything seriously wrong with me, it would have been found. But the obsessive part of me doesn't trust the doctors and think they are missing something huge. This has started to affect my work and my marriage. My husband tries to be supportive, but he's starting to get frustrated. He doesn't understand why I can't trust all the doctors and millions of tests.
As I sit here, I'm having bad side and back pain. Trying to avoid taking a lorazepam as I only have a limited supply. Today I am convinced it is related to my reproductive organs, but my husband thinks I continually move on to other symptoms as things get ruled out (also I had a transvaginal ultrasound that was normal). I just don't understand how anxiety can cause so much pain. Ironically, I have been feeling much less anxious about my normal stuff (being a passenger in a car, worrying something bad is going to happen, etc) since these physical symptoms started and have basically consumed my life.
I understand I probably need to see a therapist, and plan to make an appointment after I return from vacation (if I go), but how do I deal with this in the meantime? How do you KNOW when physical symptoms are anxiety?
Sorry for the long post, thanks if you read all the way through. Just had to get all these thoughts out because I feel like nobody understands.
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My husband and I have been together for 10 years.. in the beginning I knew he was into bondage and it was the basic stuff (handcuffs, gags and rope). Over the years it has been increasing the type of stuff he wants to do and I have no desire to do it. He wants me to dominate him in the bedroom and some kind of bondage must be incorporated or its not enough for him. It's either all or nothing. If he doesn't get bondage he pouts and ignores me until he does. I feel like he doesn't want me just bondage. I am at a loss as to what to do. We got into huge fight and he gave me an ultimatum it was him or my mom who lived with us. I chose him.. so I gave him an ultimatum it was either me or the bondage. He chose the bondage... I don't want to lose him, we are both unhappy and the only way to make him happy is bondage. I don't think it's me he wants, even though he says he does, but his actions tell me different, he wants bondage.
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My step daughter is getting married I am completely excluded and my husband feels I'm being selfish. How do I change my feelings of constant sadness like break down in tears sadness?
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I really feel like I'm beginning to feel more and more mentally ill..rather people say it's going to pass..it's really not..having faith doesn't help..don't nothing helps or work..I pray and get no answers..sure it might be a test but it's really a test I'm failing at..do people ever think about others who have been praying for years and never go a answer?
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anyone else who finds it hard to come off Prozac?
My last attempt to come off Prozac lasted almost a year. I have tried so hard...but I am finally admitting defeat. I am going to ask for a new prescription tomorrow. It feels like this little capsule that twenty years ago was my savior has now become my captor. It is with feeling of utter failure and slight despair that I take these pills again. I feel I have no choice. The worst thing is, I don't understand why I hate it so much.
I was on Prozac for almost twenty years until I weaned myself off almost a year ago. This was one of many attempts. During those twenty years, I was never completely comfortable taking it. I was grateful for how it worked, how it changed my life, but for some reason that I could never shake off, I just didn't like the the idea of being on medication every day. I was not at ease with the idea of having to be on a prescription - of being dependent on this little green and cream capsule - simply to feel normal like everyone else. My GP could never understand when I talked about coming off it. He would more or less say, its working for you - why change things? Just take it, and forget about it. I still don't understand why I am so uncomfortable about taking it.
I thought in the beginning, that I would be cured of my depression and anxiety, and go back to the happy person I was, then when I was 'fixed' I would stop taking it. I was told then it was not 'addictive', and it WAS only for the short term. So how come, every time I came off...I not only suffered the most awful symptoms..I also felt 100 times worse than I did before I started taking it? It is like Prozac has changed my brain, so I am dependent on it simply to have any quality of life.
With Prozac, I am relatively content, I enjoy socializing, I can run a house and 'look after' my family and my ageing parents. Simply, I just get on with my life which is a good one.
Without Prozac, I am anxious and irritable all of the time. I feel far, far worse than I EVER did in the before I went on on it. I thought I was depressed then....but from what I remember it was never as bad as this. Its hard to explain, but it is like it is self fulfilling... like Prozac itself is causing my mental health problems. I panic at the thought of having to do anything that involves social evenings, sometimes I can't even cope with trivial or ordinary things like organizing meals, or making lists. It all seems too overwhelming so I just don't do it. I get completely worked up about nothing. I fly into rages and feel awful afterwards. I wake in the morning with a nervous tummy and terrible anxiety about the day. When I physically get up and get on with it I feel better...but I can lie for an hour in bed in the morning feeling sick with nerves, and cannot find a 'place' to go in my head that is pleasant. It is always doom and gloom, and anger and sadness....and recently I have been contemplating all sorts of ways of leaving it all behind me. I can't live like this any more.
I guess it is just a case of getting my head to the point where I can see Prozac as a friend and not the enemy. I guess I blame it for getting me where I am in the first place - totally dependent on it. It's like, I have no choice in the matter. This is not how I usually live my life. I feel defeated and overpowered, even though the outcome is to my benefit. Its hard to explain. I mean, what if they find out it causes tumors, or my doctor just decides to stop prescribing it down the line. I feel trapped, no matter how I look at it.
I guess I would tell anyone thinking of going onto this drug that it is like a pitcher plant. Once you are in, you are in it forever no matter how much you try to scramble up the sides. It is not just a case of take it till you get well, then thank it, and move on. Prozac has you in its grip forever. From my experience.. I would say only start it if you can accept the fact it probably WILL be for life.
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I was prescribed Xanax when I lived abroad. I am now back in the UK, where Xanax is not on the approved NHS drug list. I have been suffering from anxiety again, but the Xanax I have expired in 2013. Can I take these safely?
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i have treated by prednisolone medicine (steroids)for my optic nerve problem @ my age 23 to 25, nw my age is 31, will this steroids affects my marriage life
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All throughout my life I have had good opportunities that I have thrown away because of how I felt at the time, jobs, women, holidays etc etc I threw them all away because of my negative thoughts and self doubts... And its here again, i think!
I currently have a job that is very comfortable, money is good, not too far away from home and its easy to do... Its just boring as hell! Today I spent 2 hours doing nothing at all, and that's not me, Im not that type of person. Sure I kick back for half an hour after a busy spell but I actually like to be busy.
Anyway, I have been offered another job by my old boss. We get on great and its a very interesting, challenging job also the same money.
So whats the problem? The new job is three times further away than my current job which is still only 24 miles in total. I was up for the challenge this morning and very positive about it but as the day has gone on I have worn myself out with worry. I cant seem to shake the fact that, in my mind, its just too far away. It will be a 52 mile round trip and about an hours commute.
All I can think is that it is too far, will cost too much and that I will end up fed up and depressed. I will be all anxious at home etc etc and then have to quit and let down my boss and probably ruin our friendship.
I know there is an element of thinking over a new job and is it worth it but why can't I think of all the good things about it.
I have done this so many times in my life and end up not following through with things because it makes me worry too much. Like its safer to stay bored than challenge myself. I don't know what to do!
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and I've decided to post here because I don't know where to turn. I've been feeling suicidal because I have no social life, I'm behind in school and I switched to a charter school so that I could graduate faster but this only made my situation worse. On the first day of school I went to my class and I felt so overwhelmed by the amount of people in one class. After school I went crying to the principal because I knew that my social anxiety was never going to leave me alone no matter how much I tried. So she helped me by putting me in a small office with another teacher and another girl who has Social anxiety too but she rarely ever comes to school.
Today, I was alone all day because both the teacher and the other student didn't come. I felt so alone and I couldn't concentrate on my packets (school work) which is pretty typical because I've been having problems focusing in school since last school year. I told another staff member if I could stay home and do my work instead of coming to school because I just didn't like being alone and I couldn't concentrate but she said I couldn't do that because I had to come to school so that they get paid. Honestly I don't know what to do. I can't drop out of school , there are no online school services in my area, and I don't wanna go back to a regular public school because having 8 different classes a day was a nightmare to me last year.
My parents already know of my problems but they can't help me. Honestly I don't wanna go to school tomorrow because I'm just feeling so depressed and I can't take it anymore. my dad thinks I'm procrastinating. Honestly, he doesn't understand exactly how I feel. I feel like the whole world is falling on me and I feel like I'm never going to succeed in life, which is one of the things my dad himself told me.
I don't know what to do or where to turn to. I can't dropout of high school or take online school and I can't get medical help because my parents don't have health care.
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Over the past 3 years I've practically shut myself out of every social situation I can think of, not because of fear but because I'd rather be playing video games. Over the course of those 3 years I've lost all my friends and postponed school, work, and relationships. Coming to this point where I realize what I've done I became anxious, no friends, no one to talk to, no school, and practically no life. I'm not sure what to do at this point. When I leave my home i'm always alone with nobody to talk to and it makes me really self conscious, I'm always worried about what people think of me and when people laugh or smile around me I assume it's because of something to do with me, I feel like I no longer have the social skills I use to, I remember always being easily able to talk to anybody and be social and enjoy my time with whoever I meet and make sure to leave a great impression but now no matter who I talk to I just feel like a huge loser who is just wasting their time or just someone who they'll talk to their friends and laugh about later over something I said or did. Aside from that, I get anxious thinking to much considering the fact that I have no one to talk to I just think about nonsense, things that never happened like horrible images in my head that just make me uncomfortable and just worsen my anxiety and make it harder to do anything at all and I just find myself stuck on these ridiculous ideas and things that could potentially happen to me when I know full well they wont and never have but I still feel like I'm purposely torturing myself with things that just aren't true and I cannot figure out why.
Right now I've got another month to wait before I begin school again and hopefully start getting my life back together and In the meantime i have picked up some sports but I really feel like I am just so lost and afraid and I have no idea what to do, whenever i go out to do anything i'm just worried anxious and it heavily impairs whatever I try to do and makes it harder because I'm afraid of looking foolish.
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So I was about to finger myself and when I felt my g spot it wasn't slightly hard like always. I know it might be because the g spot is in front of the bladder, (I just went to the bathroom before starting to masutbate) but I'm a hypochondriac and I worry about everything. It's a bit squishier and it just feels like it dented inwards a bit. It might go back to normal in a while because of the bladder thing.
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I am a mature lady but am happy to admit I am worried ! Suffered dreadful sore throat two months ago. Antibiotics did not help so subsequent gp diagnosed gord. I was prescribed a month of omeprazole and am now in the final week. I no longer have raging sore throat but seem to have enlarged glands in throat and am sooo worried it is something serious. Could the ppi be causing other issues or should I return to gp and ask him again for more reassurance? He probably thinks I am a massive hypochondriac.
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I've suffered from severe anxiety for about six months now. It started with headaches and fatigue, then I started getting panic attacks a couple of months later and now I am obsessed with my health and when I might die.
Today, for example, I woke up with a heavy right leg and also pain in my thigh and calf. My first thought was blood clot and now I've wasted another whole day worrying about it. This happens all the time to the point where I've become agoraphobic and find it very difficult to continue with work and any activities I used to enjoy.
I've had six sessions of CBT so far and I'm not finding it great to be honest. I'm just so so tired of constantly being aware of my mortality and scanning my body for symptoms 24/7. Even when I'm out, like last night when I went to a comedy gig, the whole night I was scanning my body checking everything was ok and preparing to make a quick escape if necessary.
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I finally had freedom when I moved out on my own at 21 and met a guy around my age who I thought was going to be with me forever. Well time went on we got close and ended up doing something brief that resulted in no ejaculation and it was without a condom only the tip of the head was in me. Shortly after found out via vs phone that he talks with other women. Even though his social network he is a male *****. This happened in March so I got tested for HIV at 3 weeks after this and I was negative. I then got tested 5 weeks after and was negative. I never went back to a conclusive result bc I'm not close to a clinic. However the Dr told me I have no chance at contacting anything.
Months went by and around May we made up again and this time ALL THE WAY. I made sure this time he wore a condom. I don't recall any breaking or slipping. He was going in and fully out each time he stroked so it gave me a better way to look at the condition of the condom. I was feeling at ease at losing my virginity and wearing a condom but all of a sudden 2 days later he told me had a job transdermal and all of a sudden my anxiety and OCD came in full force. He said he had to move and don't want long distance.
Not only that 2 weeks later I had a moderate common cold and this had heightened my anxiety even more because it had me thinking that it was an ARS symptom. I don't understand how the symptoms work most sites say many come down with a flu or a cold. I'm not sure and it's confusing. I began to frantically Google and harass him through text messages about his HIV status he ignores me and don't reply. I'm afraid he knows something I don't.
I also Google a lot about HIV and everywhere I look I see nothing but things about hiv. I recently even had a dream I turned out to be positive. I'm terrified. I'm stressing so much my period has stopped and spots are coming in my hair from no where. I thought if I had sex with a condom I would be at ease.
I decided to go take a test on the 18th. I'm afraid it will be positive. This fear has ruined my whole summer. I still message him and he still ignores me. He has even changed his number.
My dad is a pastor and is very religious. They always speak on no sex before marriage because it is AIDs in the world Now I feel like I will be punished with HIV because of my ability to not abstain. I haven't talk to my parents about this terrible anxiety because I don't want to be judged.
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