Depression / Anxiety Is Destroying Me
Oct 1, 2014
I'm 17, I've been going through depression since about april last year. Stupidly i never got help until last week because it got really serious, i almost ended my life i constantly self-harm as it brings me a feeling i suppose?
Anyway i have been with my girlfriend since i was 16, first met her just after christmas. I bought her of loads of problems 'self-harm, low self-esteem etc.' it wasn't easy from the start because of her lod friends being bitches and she left them for me. My depression started in april when i become depressed and anxious about her leaving me because i felt inadequate as i was fro everyone i met. However we/I i got through it. Come to my birthday december 22nd.. I became ill and somehow really depressed i felt confused and unsure about my feelings for my girlfriend.. i became suicidal (btw i was this way in the months before but this was the worst case.) it came and went but for some reason since april this year stuck in my mind with my feelings for her. We argued/argue all the time about my depression or silly stuff. My summer was rubbish because of my depression. A few months ago i realised that i actually do love her. It made a little positive, we still met up in the week once and stayed almost every weekend, which i enjoy however we argued because i become down and sasd and negative and ruined everything. Fast forward to this month, she has almost broke up with me, because she can't handle my depression i almost left her a few times at the start of the year because i was so down and my mind was telling me allsorts. Anyway we are still together because we love each other and would like what happens after depression. My feelings are i worry/feel i don't like how she looks or dresses sometimes (she put weight on her face and has a double chin). My depressive thoughts were persistent and i told her i don't like her chin or hair sometimes. This created loads of problems i regret however i keep saying it. I feel like ending my life because i can't treat her this way. She is amazing and i feel i want to marry her and be the best i can for her but she deserves better and i just don't want to feel this way anymore i want everything i dream of when i'm positive.
I want to know if my thoughts are even true or irrational?
What could she do to help me?
And what can i do because i can't carry on feeling this way and lose that amazing women!
P.s I'm really sorry if it all seems weird and don't make sense i'm so upset and i didn't know to word or even make sense of what my minds doing to me. There is many things i'd like to say so please feel free to ask any questions about anything.
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I'll just tell you a little about myself i'm female, 23 and unemployed. Took me a while to first go to the doctors, First diagnosed with depression n anxiety at around 18. Was very low in mood, constant worrying, staying indoors not wanting to go out or do anything. Through childhood and school, college n work always had difficulty in talking about my problems, issue's bottled things up never hardly spoke about how I was feeling and fitting in, socialising, relationships, exams etc was extremely hard found myself mixing with the wrong crowd a lot. Employed Since leaving school2008 till 2014. 2014 everything went downhill my behaviour was manic, erratic, obsessive and violent highs n lows lost my job, wrote off my brand new car under the influence, lots of debt, family troubles, getting into trouble with police, stealing much more things really could go on n on. Currently and the last two years have been horrendous withdrawn myself from the world stayed in bed days, weeks, months got sectioned diagnosed with severe depression, anxiety n psychosis disgusting place if anyone can relate...In there i was on lorazepam felt amazing was discharged but they couldn't prescribe me that at home so i went back down. irrational thoughts are destroying me. I've tried most types of AD meds most of them have had no effect or made me like a zombie. Been back to see my gp last week and started again on Sertraline 50mg increased to 100mg following week and she has give me beta blockers propranolol 40mg twice daily.
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I've got a 3 year old son and since he was born I've suffered with depression, anxiety, health anxiety and PTSD. I'm just at the end of my degree which is stressful but it is for everyone. For the past 6 months or so (since my relationship ended with my son's dad) I've had the worst health anxiety and it's completely taken over my life.
I'm constantly going to the doctors or the hospital and panicking only to find that they don't really take me seriously anymore which just makes everything worse.
My symptoms from the past few months include.. pelvic pain, bleeding between periods, dizziness, palpitations, loss of appetite, IBS like symptoms whenever I do eat, which has in turn caused weight loss, insomnia, hot/cold flashes, and so many more. Basically, I just feel ill all the time and obviously I've convinced myself I've got cervical cancer and many other types of cancer.
My doctor keeps telling me that I am very stressed and this is a normal response, but it doesn't help and I'm driving myself mad worrying that there's something seriously wrong with me and I'm going to leave my son without a mum.
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I am at the end of my rope!!!!!! I have crps following botched surgery almost 5 years ago. I was on percocet for the first 2.5 years until a new pm doc told me it was bad for my liver and changed me to opana - 5 mg, 3 times a day with oxymorphone 5 mg times a day for breakthrough pain. About a yr and a half ago I developed horrible anxiety which has stayed with me since. The doc said maybe the new formulation didn't agree with me but made no changes. I wake up from sleep in the morning screaming and crying, so agitated. The pain docs don't care as long as your pain is under control. the doc added methadone at my last appt to curb the anxiety in the mornings but I'm to scared to take it. I've read it's more addictive than all of them. I don't function anymore, don't leave the house, cry several times a day. Has anyone experienced this? I feel insane and these docs don't seem to care. Last year I went to a psychiatrist and spent the entire year trying every anti-depressant int the book but none worked. They just raised my anxiety. I really think it's these pills.
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I asked my doc for trazodone today for my insomnia, he gave me a script for ten zopiclone instead, he said trazodone was not a good drug for depression, and that lexapro ( he has me on 30 mg ) is a far superior drug, I pointed out to him that I have been on 30 mg for over a year and while my depression is very manageable, my insomnia and anxiety have not improved and that in my opinion anxiety has always been my primary issue. I take inderal 80 mg daily for anxiety , which just makes it bearable. Has anyone on any different combination of drugs for anxiety insomnia and depression that they find works. Yes I know we're all different ! I have been on sooo many antidepressants, and I can't honestly recommend any of them.
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Hi all. I'm on day 14 of Zoloft. I was put on it for anxiety & I would feel depressed the odd time. Iv noticed while I no longer feel anxious I feel depressed instead. I'm hoping this will lift as it's still very early days & maybe I'm still having side effects.
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have been on and off Cerazette for last few years and have started with bad anxiety to the point where I stopped taking it but then had horrendous periods and was going dizzy. So I'm scared to come off it but at the same time wondering if it's perimenopause as I'm getting fast heartbeat at night but feel constantly emotional and exhausted and also nervous/ anxious so I'm wondering if anyone else has felt like this on Cerazette?
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Hi. For 6 weeks I've been going downhill with severe anxiety and depression. My questions is, how many of you have really, really severe anxiety with your depression? For me it is almost the worst because I can't sleep, at all, not even during the day. So I'm on tranquilisers at night. I literally feel terrified for my life, like I'm on death row. I just can't see it getting better, because I had a major breakdown 3 years ago which took over a year to recover from and at least then I wasn't already taking medication so the docs had a range of options. Now I'm already on Lexapro (since 3 years ago) and now the tranquilizers which i hate taking but otherwise I can't sleep at all. So where to go now? I know I analyse it all too much and should just have faith but I can't. i feel like my life is over. I have a lovely son and family and feel like everything is lost. For me, this is the biggest disaster that ever could've happened to me, having another breakdown. the last one was so awful I feel like I barely got out alive. And worst of all I'm haunted my memories not only of that breakdown but of my sister who took her own life 10 years ago due to mental health problems. I'm so, so terrified that I'll end up the same. It is hell.
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I feel like depression has a hold on my life, a really tight hold, and at this point I don't know what to do anymore. Its so severe that it has affected my way of living so much. I'm not the same girl I once was. I am hurting so much on the inside, even though I have to keep a strong face on for the world to see. I think that is where my anxiety comes into play. That and my ADHD. School has always been so so hard for me. That made me severely depressed starting in middle school. I could not understand why I was so bad at math. And I got mediocre grades/gpa because of my math problems. I was in Catholic school my whole life, and having to go to public high school was very hard for me. I was not used to that environment and was bullied and picked on. I know its really not a big deal, but I was only 14-15 and it really did affect me I feel. I was bullied about how ugly I was, how short i was, I was physically bullied and had stuff thrown at me in class all the time, teachers would do nothing (in fact one teacher even made it worse and chose the side of the bullies, aka the favorites of the class, and my school therapist at the time had to defend me). I would skip class to avoid my tormentors. My anxiety worsened because of this, my parents did nothing, made me stay at the same school, and I would have to hide, in the bathroom and the library, could not even have lunch. It was so hard for me. Now that I'm in college its amazing that I don't have to worry about any of that. People are so different, but I'm so depressed about the fact how hard math still is for me, and classes in general, and the fact I have no friends at all, none whatsoever. No matter how hard I try I feel like I lost my ability to socialize with people like I used to. For fear of being made fun of. I also don't want to be left (I have abandonment issues because of my dad leaving). So i figure there is no point in getting close to someone if they are just going to hurt and leave me. I feel like such a loser, I'm in my second year of community college and I don't even know what to do. I don't know how to drive (I had a very strict mom and stepdad, they never taught me how to drive, didn't want me driving) so by the time i was 18 i just kept putting it off I guess. I don't even have a job yet. I've been looking and its so hard to find. I feel like everyone is passing me by, and it really makes me feel like the biggest loser in the world. What hurts most is no one understands how severe my depression is, my mom thinks I just don't care and am "lazy" when in fact its the complete opposite. I want nothing more than to be better and healthy so I can move out of this house. I don't know what else to say besides I want help on how to get my life back on track. I'm on meds but I still feel terrible. My psychiatrist didn't prescribe me adderall even though she saw how severe my ADHD was, and felt it was more important to treat the "depression" which is stupid, because I'm just not depressed for no reason. Things cause depression and I feel my ADHD is a big cause of my depression. Anyway I'm rambling and don't know what else to say besides I really want advice, and hope I'm not the only one in this situation. I have no one to turn to.
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Well it's 3.51pm here in glasgow we are in the middle of a heat wave and i'm lying in bed typing this in the same shorts n shirt i've had on for over a week. I cnt b bothered going out don't want to see anyone not eating anymore either breakfasts lunch hardly shower. Have no enthusiasm for anything not interested in anything. My wife got so sick of me not knowing how to have fun or want anyone up to the house she left me now has a new partner only time i'm happy is seeing my kids but i'm even struggling to be fun for them now as well. I am sick of anti depressants they do not work i have tried them all and given them time to work if it wasn't for my 3 kids i wouldn't be writing this just now. I a have no qualifications haven't worked in over 7 years right now almost every night i just cry and cry. Ppl tell you you need to just get out their i look fat and ugly and cant hold a conversation i have no friends except my 3 kids who i try as hard as possible to hide this horrible depression from. They are the only 1 thing that i got right in my life. And i feel so so selfish knowing theirs homeless ppl and babies dying in foreign countries and i am whinging about this i just feel like if i died i would have about 3 or r 4 ppl at my funeral because i push everyone away. I have a poisoned brain its all negative thinking all the time i try to turn it into positives but cant. My emotions are everywhere just now 1 min i'm just numb ext min im at tears like i nearly am writing this i just want to enjoy life i am 32 years old I dnt even have any skills like how to play an instrument or anything are my kids going to think their dad's a loser? Its the only thing i'm good at is bringing up my kids and the love they give to me is the only thing that keeps me hangin in their. Im gonna stop now i'm just upsetting myself more.
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I'm 34 and I constantly worry about irrelevant things. Sometimes I feel like I am losing control, I don't know how to control myself. I have been to a doctor and he told me that I probably have anxiety. Are there some methods that can relieve me from anxiety?
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I have been smoking for like 2 years everyday til one day i had this horrifying panic attack and went to get help at that time i was not diagnosed with substance induced anxiety, just generalized anxiety, i took clonazepam and sertraline and worked pretty good, but in the midst of that I started to smoke again and suspend my eventually suspended my treatment after 4 months, a lot of time passed and i started to have paranoia and derealization symptoms to the point that it was unbearable, at this point still smoked pot but every time a smoked it gave me paranoia and feeling real depressed, but i was addicted when i was no smoking i was just feeling numb, i went to seek help to the psychiatrist and like i said diagnosed me with substance induced depression and anxiety, it was very true that i had depression. He put me into a lot of things: wellbutrin, lorazepam and risperdal, it didn't worked quite well in fact he added me prozac. and didn't worked either, but i was exercising everyday, eating well, meditate and yoga and actually was feeling a bit better but not entirely so he added me another dosage of prozac and reduce the clonazepam, 5 days passed and i was feeling super bad, had the worst anxiety and depression i had in my life. i talked to him and he said ok so back to one dosage of prozac and more clonazepam and well it did help but i was not feeling a bit better like i was. the days passed and felt a little bit more depressed i went to the psychiatrist again and put me on ritalin, which the first day worked wonderful, but left me a few hours later super fatigued and sleepy and depressed so i told him and he said to me to take another one in the midday again worked good but in the night i was so tired and depressed, then another day passed and the feelings of ritalin weren't working as before until today, one week after, i thing a don't feel anything from this drug, in fact i'm feeling more depressed :( and feeling a little bit of derealization like before but not so much. I think the doctor screwed me with all the meds it's my guess but maybe i'm just being paranoid and only feeling the same but less hopeful, i'm so desperate to feel happy again. So i go back to this question do you think my depression was caused by the abuse of cannabis or i was just predisposed to be depressed and the cannabis lifted my depression, because i'm thinking that when I was feeling a little better was because i was motivated and doing good stuff for my body and mind, and know because i think i'm more depressed i stopped doing that. i fear that this "disease" of substance abuse, did damage my brain and left me like this forever but i get a little hope when i think it's just normal depression and i can do a little better by doing good things for me, but what about the meds? should i just stop taking them, obviously with caution, or keep taking the meds and also do good stuff for me, because my problem is that i'm afraid the meds are making my depression worse. i want to mention that 5 days ago a smoked a little pot and it was the worst panic attack i have ever had. but it was just that time and left me wondering if that also left me more irreversible depressed. What do you think about my story, what do you think i should do? getting a second opinion with another psychiatrist or maybe seeing a psychologist its better?
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I've quit weed 2 years ago. Since then I've had all sorts of problems. Relationship ended. Don't see my kids at the minute Looking into counselling moods swings depression anxiety etc.... Now I've just had enough. Since the relationship ended its all got worse.
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Has anyone got anything positive to say about this med, just had mine increased to 45mg more for anxiety than depression,
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I have and still do suffer from anxiety and depression. And recently have been having negative thoughts, things I shouldn't. I feel like such a terrible person because I know that's not me I couldn't hurt a fly. And I feel like i'm all alone, i'm ashamed of my own self, its worst when i'm alone it's like I get lost in my own mind and I hate it. I'm on medicine for my anxiety, and have a doctors appt coming up. Is this occurring because of my anxiety/depression? Am I the only one?
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I'm 23 years old and I'm healthy. So they tell me but I suffer from extreme anxiety, hypochondria and depression for going on 6 years. Im at my breaking point. It completely controls and ruins my everyday life.
Lately, my whole life has been a whole anxiety attack. From the moment I wake up until I go to sleep. My life doesn't feel like it is a reality. I live in a fog. My heart races all day leaving me exhausted, I suffer from aches and pains and I always think of the impending doom that is coming to me in the coming seconds. Since I also suffer from hypochondria these things do not go well together. Anytime I feel brain fog or these feelings of Unreality I tell myself I have a brain tumor and I'm surely dying. Any pains it's a tumor or a blood clot. I convince myself that I'm dying and it causes anxiety. It's a never ending cycle and as of late has caused me to become very depressed. I can't even go to work in fear of an attack. The only time I feel safe is at home in my bed or when I'm asleep. I left work today on the verge of a mental breakdown. On the verge of admitting myself into the hospital. I am on an antidepressant every day and it doesn't seem to be doing its job. My depression is killing me. Does anyone else feel this way? I don't know much longer I can continue living this way.
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I'm 21 years old with a 2 year old daughter for starters. And I have been dealing with anxiety and depression totally unmedicated for about 3 years. It recently has gotten so bad that I don't even want to get out of bed, I can't make it through an 8 hour shift where I work (at a plastic factory) without wanting to breakdown. I'm trying really hard to do it myself by drinking green tea, positive thinking, taking vitamins, and small meditation breathing counting techniques. But I fear that it's not helping as much as I need it to and I feel like it is really taking a toll on every aspect of my life.
My mom really encourages me to speak to a therapist and get on medication, but I can't stop seeing that as the easy way out and I just don't like the feeling of having someone listening to my problems knowing that they have their life together enough it makes me feel really weak and vulnerable. But things are looking pretty bleak and I don't know if I have the energy or strength to keep going like this, something's gotta give.
So I was also just wondering
1 what a therapist would do for me, what a visit would be like
2 are there any medications that will uplift my mood but without any negative side effects such as insomnia, numb feeling, worsening my depression.
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this was my 4th time throughout my life on zoloft and I have never had such wicked side effects. I started taking it because I thought maybe the dizzy spells and lack of motivation in my life might help with zoloft but I was so wrong. My doctor agreed the side effects weren't good so I stopped after only 6 doses. One week later after stopping it I still have so much anxiety and depression. Can anyone tell me how long will it take to return to normal or if I should have screwed something up in my head and should take another drug now?
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I have been suffering for some years during the winter time with anxiety and depression. I have been on and off meds for 4 years now. I always seem to have to go back on them when the winter comes. I would stay on them, but I was trying to get pregnant so I went off. Well its been a tough time for me lately and decided to put trying on hold to help myself. I started 50mgs of zoloft 13 days ago. Haven't really felt any relief...my therapist says I should feel better after 2 and maybe meds aren't right for me. I kind of think I need to wait at least up to 4 weeks. I have terrible anxiety all day with physical symptoms. I push through my day because its the right thing to do. I eat, workout, go to work, but just not enjoying it because I feel "weird". Hoping I will feel better soon....this worrying about worrying is starting to make me mad!! Help anyone else have a similar story or hope?
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I am so sick of these heart palps.. Never having them before anxiety, I have become so distressed.. I'm coming to the realization that I'm fine, and at this point I'm done with everything so I just don't care any more. but since it's postpartum depression and anxiety, does my anxiety eventually slowly fade? Will I ever be palp free? Also I've heard magnesium can make your heart act weird, but it's also recommended to calm them.. Why do
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I am really suffering at the moment and I'm into day 35 of an anxiety/depression dip. I have been suffering this on and off for over ten years. The closer I get to the end the dips seem to be lasting longer and coming more frequent. I really don't know how much longer I can hang on. My quality of life at the moment is very very poor. I am starting to consider HRT as I've really had enough of this horrible roller coaster. I was hoping to hear from some ladies who have tried HRT and it has turned their lives around or offer experiences from other ladies. I have a doctor who will prescribe bioidentical hormones which I would prefer to the synthetic ones. I just have to make a decision. I so wish I didn't have to and wish I could sail through this like other ladies. Last year I had 7 periods and its 3 months since my last one. I'm just wondering if you can take HRT with this scenario.
I really need the strength to keep going.
Have cried all day today as it's all becoming to hard.
I would love to wake in the morning and it has lifted.
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