Substance Abuse :: Methadone Addiction - Prescribed For Someone Else


Jun 28, 2014

My boyfriend of 9 months who is an accident victim was prescribed Methadone and Opana just got out of rehab himself, but around Thanksgiving, I broke my finger and he was giving me his doses of Methadone... It's now June and I'm still on it. Only him and I know I'm on it, I refuse to tell my doctors or anyone because I'm also a Celiac and Fibromyalgia patient and I don't want to ruin my chances for getting help. I am down to taking a quarter of a tablet a day. I never really took that much to begin with. Most I took was 2 tablets a day so I wouldn't say I have it as bad as anyone else at all. I need to ween down by myself. I flushed all of his medications but I kept only three tablets that gives me 12 quarter pills to wean. I took a quarter this morning, what do you all suggest I should do with the other 11? You thing I should go with another quarter tomorrow and then cut the quarters in half by taking one of those slivers in the morning and a sliver at night? And then narrowing it down to just a sliver and then jump off? What are some supplements that have helped you? I'm allergic to anxiety medications so that's been my downfall. I am so ashamed of myself and guilty. This isn't like me at all since everyone in my family has some sort of addiction.

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I got a cervical steroid epidural Monday, which I thought would help, and it does help big-time with pain. However, where the steroid injections usually trigger a slight manic reaction with me (I have been diagnosed "hypomanic" and "manic depressives manic type"  and "ADHD, hyperactive, impulsive type" and PTSD) this time the injection seemed to put me in a mixed state.  I was really, really agitated and anxious, to the point I thought I might need to get some anti-anxiety medication.  My cousin brought over a Xanax and a joint, and a bottle of vodka.  For some reason, I just don't feel like adding more chemicals to my poor brain.  And since I haven't wanted a cigarette since I quit insufflating pills, I slapped a nicotine patch on Thursday, and haven't smoked a cigarette either.  I want to remember all of this torture so I am never tempted to insufflate another pill.  All the years my pharmacy gave me the Endo tamper resistant silicone encased Opana pills I was never tempted to try the tedious procedure of preparing them for insufflation which I read about online.  People actually go thru a lot of work to insufflate or even inject the tamper resistant Opanas.  I read about a lung disease from doing so, and a blood disease from injecting them. And what I read horrified me.  Then, within a matter of months of receiving the generic Opanas, oxymorphone pills, I started insufflating them.  I was in a lot of pain, knew insufflation raised the 10% bioavailability significantly, so I did it, telling myself just this one time.  I am no different than the other people trying to relieve their pain.  I have to be honest with myself.  I have displayed addictive behavior, and played fast and loose with my life.  It doesn't take a genius to figure out that doing pills intranasally that are made to be swallowed puts one at risk for lung infection or worse.  I need to be honest with myself, address my addictive behavior, and not sweep it under the denial rug (so to speak).  If members of my immediate family knew, I would be in a treatment center so fast my head would spin.  As VICourageous or Vic595 said: "We are only as sick as our darkest secrets" and I remember that term from AA.  Also, I thank Gnarly_1 and Vic595 for pointing out I had crossed the line from dependence onto addiction when I started insufflating my pills.  I am sure I would still be telling myself I am only dependent on my pills and they just crushed themselves and flew up my nose, because they could, and it helped my pain more.  Yeah, love myself to death, literally.
I know I will feel worse before I feel better, but I am doing the right thing.  I can't think straight enough now to quote Gnarly_1, but he said something about getting completely off pain medication to assess my real pain level, etc. and I will be re-reading that too.  I know I have been rambling.  My head is hurting, but this discomfort won't kill me like the path I was on.  Thank all of you.  God sent me to Med-Help.  Maybe some day when I can think clearly I will be able to help someone else too.  I will be back.

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Substance Abuse :: How Did You Kick Subs?

Ok Here's my story. I was an abuser of Percocet Oxycontin for years. Having said that I've always been able to put stuff down when it started getting out of control (like a crack pipe with money still in my wallet!) Even perks, but I would stop, then one day a week, then a couple days a week, then after work every day, then before during and after work and, oops I can't pay my bills at the end of the month. Then I would stop again, the withdrawals hurt but whatever. I finally found something I couldn't stop: the cycle not the actual drug. It was then that my now wife and I decided to get on subs, her on suboxone and me on subutex (I had severe headaches and heartburn on suboxone.) My doctor tried two different antacids to no avail. Finally he put me on just the bup, thank god. Flash forward two years 8 mg three times a day, I don't wanna be a slave to this sh++ any more. My doctor asks "are you still having cravings?" I say "yes I am still having cravings doc." But am I? I don't think so, not for perks, just for those f+++ing subs. Oh I almost forgot, and it's important to my kicking, I fell off a roof and was in a coma for 6 days. They were shooting me up with dilaudid thru a pick line that went directly to my heart. WOHW that was awesome by the by. I kicked subs under sedation, I know this because wife told me how much I was tossing and turning in a coma. So much so that they had to tie me to the bed. So it's time to go home they give me.......perks! I transitioned back to subutex seamlessly though so no problems there. So I crushed and snorted mine, which gives you a lot more bio-availability. Here's what I did: I got down to one 8mg per day FIRST. Stopped snorting mine and switched to sucking on those disgusting strips my wife gets. That was the worst I felt, going from snorting to sublingual. At the height of feeling like doggie do I snorted one to feel better then went back to the strips for like 2 days, feeling fine. Then I just stopped. Now, I have the benefit of being out of work on workers comp from my fall off the roof, which, as I said was important because I could lay around and be lazy for as long as I needed. I don't know if it was the particular way I did it but it wasn't that bad. A few hot flashes, a few chills, one night of restless legs and today I feel ok. I did use benzos to bridge any gaps and before bed (I didn't get much sleep for few nights.) I am feeling aches but I think that's just from being 37 and the subs masking them. So I got down to one, stopped snorting/went sublingual for 2 days, snorted one day, 2 more days sublingual, quit with benzos and 3-4 days on the couch. If it weren't for my back and a little ptsd from falling, which is why I'm on workers comp, I feel I could go back to work and be fine. I walked to the store yesterday, my knees hurt but I mean I think I'm over it. Good luck guys, keep telling yourself it ain't that bad, attitude is everything.

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