I Have To Cum By Stimulating My Clitoris, Not Just Sex

My boyfriend and I have been sexually active for about 8 months now, but I haven't gotten off once. I have come to the realization over the years that I just cannot orgasm from sex alone, and I know that I have to cum by stimulating my clit. When I masturbate, I know that every time, an orgasm will happen. However, when my boyfriend tries to get me off my stimulating my clit, it has never happened. We have tried to exactly model what I do when I masturbate, but I just don't feel the same when he does it. I can feel myself building up, but it's like the orgasm will never happen. It's like he just never touches the right spot, which doesn't make sense because he is touching the same spots I touch when I masturbate and in the same ways. It usually starts out fine, but gets to a point where I have to instruct him on what to do and we just stop shortly after that because I feel like it's past the point of cumming. Usually it ends with me having a swollen and numb-feeling clit. I just don't know what to do at this point, and it makes things pretty frustrating.I have tried to masturbate during sex, but this has never worked either. It's like when I'm having sex, my clit just gets this numb feeling. Also, aside from this, I sometimes randomly feel these sharp pains in my clit area & above that area (which I guess would be my pelvic region). I have never heard of anyone else who experiences this. The pains happen at random times, sometimes during sexual activity, but it could happen when I am just sitting in a chair or at any random moment. They don't happen all the time, but maybe a few times a week I would say. No gynecologist I have been to has been able to give me an explanation for it.I really would like to have orgasms when I am with my boyfriend, and he tries so hard to do it but is growing doubtful about the situation. It sucks ending sex the same way every time, with one person finishing and the other left unsatisfied and wanting to finish.