Hemorrhoids :: Hemorrhoidectomy, Rubber Band Ligation And Other Solutions

I'Ve had hemorrhoids my whole life, i'm 35 and overweight and not active.  I sit for hours on the toilet and usually only eat meat.  I have fast tracked surgery and am now terrified to get it done.  My piles have since become a normal part of my life, but every once in awhile ill have flare ups when i eat something i KNOW my bowels don't like, like pork fat or beef fat or if foods were cooked or defrosted improperly, like rotting meat etc.  AFter every flarup i usually go through what i ate and i can pinpoint what it is by buying what it is and trying to only eat that product for the day to see how my bowels react.    My question is that should I get this surgery done to remove my internal and external piles?  I have heard that people lose the ability to control it and my own parents have both had hemorrhoidectomies, and my father has had leakage ever since that surgery.  Needless to say hemorrhoids run in my family.  I want to be able to eat whatever foods and enjoy my life.  I hate having to live in fear of food and how it totally screws my life up for work and play.  I just want to live a normal life like all the normal people who eat whatever they want and don't get hemorrhoids.  I realise that even when I get the surgery I still cannot eat anything that will cause my bowels to flare up because it will just cause more "new" hemorrhoids to flare up?  Proper diet, exercise etc will make sure that I never get them again, but should I get the surgery done?  I have had rubber banding done and I had a real bad flareup after it so I booked surgery instead of spending a year of rubber banding my anus.  My uncle told my mom that he had the rubber banding done and still had to have surgery because they can come back after the rubber banding!  My doctor said that it could take more than 1 surgery to remove them all and I'm terrified at having to have one surgery let alone 2?  I'm at a place right now in my life where I can cope and live with it, and live with the flare ups, but i keep wondering that if there is hope i can live a normal life without hemorrhoids, should i take that chance?  Please I need help from fellow sufferers of this affliction, or medical professionals.  I tried to talk to my surgeon and he wants to continue rubberbanding and then discuss surgery.  I then went to see him again to talk about surgery and that I had heard that they can come back even after banding and that I want them removed and never to come back again, and he then said that he can do the surgery and scheduled my hemoroidectomy in 2 weeks.  Should i just continue with RBL(rubber band ligation) although painful flareups for two weeks happen afterwards?  Should I just keep my surgery appointment and get them cutout and then deal with whatever consequences?  Im scared reading about people getting fistula's or puss and bleeding and other complications from surgery which turn their lives into a living hell.  living with hemoroids seems much better than having your *** swell up so huge and be constantly painful and having to have more surgeries or procedures to cut and drain the puss from absess's or fistula's that are a result of surgery.