Health Anxiety - Obsessed With My Health / Death - Agoraphobic
Oct 4, 2015
I've suffered from severe anxiety for about six months now. It started with headaches and fatigue, then I started getting panic attacks a couple of months later and now I am obsessed with my health and when I might die.
Today, for example, I woke up with a heavy right leg and also pain in my thigh and calf. My first thought was blood clot and now I've wasted another whole day worrying about it. This happens all the time to the point where I've become agoraphobic and find it very difficult to continue with work and any activities I used to enjoy.
I've had six sessions of CBT so far and I'm not finding it great to be honest. I'm just so so tired of constantly being aware of my mortality and scanning my body for symptoms 24/7. Even when I'm out, like last night when I went to a comedy gig, the whole night I was scanning my body checking everything was ok and preparing to make a quick escape if necessary.
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I'm 23 yo with pretty bad OCD/anxiety and a whole lot of hypochondria. It's getting out of control. I've been obsessed with my heart for weeks now because it's always beating fast. And then of course I'll get the chest pain. And then I'll get pains in my arms and what I think are pains in my jaw which then makes me freakout and think I'm having a heart attack.... At 23 years old.
I've had a complete blood count test done to check my thyroid (mom has issues with hers) and everything came back perfect my cholesterol my triglycerides everything. Blood pressure is always perfect I eat healthy I've never smoked I could lose a good 5 lbs but I'm not overweight etc. I've had two ekgs done a chest X-ray but everyday I'm still convinced I'm going to have a heart attack or something because the aches and pains are still there. I'm starting to go crazy. I've been to the ER like 3 times this past week and have seen my regular doctor. I keep freaking myself because I tell myself "oh but you haven't seen a cardiologist". It's driving everyone around me insane and it's making it hard for me to be the mother and wife I was before all of this stuff started
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I have health anxiety and it is literally ruining my life! I am obsessed with checking every part of me to find changes and when I do find something it's intense fear and panic like impending doom. I can't remember the last time I woke up and felt like I wasn't unwell. I am on a counsellor waiting list just don't know what to do in the meantime. Anyone else suffer this bad? Please only genuine sufferers reply as this is embarrassing enough as it is. I have never told anyone about my real problems with fear of being ridiculed.
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I apparently suffer from health anxiety I have chest pressure and breathless every day and also have obsessive thoughts of death I keep thinking I have cancer or i'm going to die and leave my family does anyone else feel this way.
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I finally had freedom when I moved out on my own at 21 and met a guy around my age who I thought was going to be with me forever. Well time went on we got close and ended up doing something brief that resulted in no ejaculation and it was without a condom only the tip of the head was in me. Shortly after found out via vs phone that he talks with other women. Even though his social network he is a male *****. This happened in March so I got tested for HIV at 3 weeks after this and I was negative. I then got tested 5 weeks after and was negative. I never went back to a conclusive result bc I'm not close to a clinic. However the Dr told me I have no chance at contacting anything.
Months went by and around May we made up again and this time ALL THE WAY. I made sure this time he wore a condom. I don't recall any breaking or slipping. He was going in and fully out each time he stroked so it gave me a better way to look at the condition of the condom. I was feeling at ease at losing my virginity and wearing a condom but all of a sudden 2 days later he told me had a job transdermal and all of a sudden my anxiety and OCD came in full force. He said he had to move and don't want long distance.
Not only that 2 weeks later I had a moderate common cold and this had heightened my anxiety even more because it had me thinking that it was an ARS symptom. I don't understand how the symptoms work most sites say many come down with a flu or a cold. I'm not sure and it's confusing. I began to frantically Google and harass him through text messages about his HIV status he ignores me and don't reply. I'm afraid he knows something I don't.
I also Google a lot about HIV and everywhere I look I see nothing but things about hiv. I recently even had a dream I turned out to be positive. I'm terrified. I'm stressing so much my period has stopped and spots are coming in my hair from no where. I thought if I had sex with a condom I would be at ease.
I decided to go take a test on the 18th. I'm afraid it will be positive. This fear has ruined my whole summer. I still message him and he still ignores me. He has even changed his number.
My dad is a pastor and is very religious. They always speak on no sex before marriage because it is AIDs in the world Now I feel like I will be punished with HIV because of my ability to not abstain. I haven't talk to my parents about this terrible anxiety because I don't want to be judged.
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I'm a 21 year old. I'm not really sure what to write for all this, but I wanted to support because I sometimes feel so alone, it's only recently I've started to realise people are going through the same as me.
My health anxiety started about 6 months a go, prior to this I was quite an anxious, shy person. I would stress out at times but it was always controlled. I have no idea how my Heath anxiety got so bad, I think it was when I took a trip to the doctors about an abnormal mole on my left breast. I wasn't panicked at first, in all honesty I had it for years.. I just wanted to be safe rather than sorry. However, the doctor that dealt with me wasn't what I expected, he didn't have the advanced 'equipment' so couldn't tell whether it was cancerous or not.. He told me that if it's caught early, they can help me survive.. When I heard the word cancer I just lost control, I had an immediate panic attack, for my doctor to then turn round and say that how I was acting was 'abnormal' as I didn't know for sure yet, I had to wait for a specialist skin appointment for two weeks. It was pure hell, the waiting, analysing, constant research I put myself through, the daily panic attacks, I lost touch of reality, but most importantly myself.
Two weeks went by, and I had my appointment. She had a look at my mole which she determined wasn't cancerous, when I heard those words I broke down crying. Any Normal person that would hear those words would feel overjoyed, but unfortunately for me it became worse. Since that day I have been through every cancer in the book, breast (which I also had to be transferred to a specialist), cervical cancer (which I had a swab for).. Stomach cancer as I am constipated and have caused my body so much stress I'm now having acid reflux on a daily basis, bone cancer, brain tumour, muscle cancer, bowel cancer.. You name it, everything that I could think of at the time. Obviously I had these things checked and everything came back normal.
Since January though I've been extremely worried about my heart, not that I have any reason to be. I have a non problematic heart murmur.. A year a go I had tests with a 24 hour ECG which determined all my heart was healthy, flowing normally and strong. Despite all this, I got random bouts of chest pain, back pain, arm numbness, jaw pain.. I've seen 4 doctors.. (One being at A&E as I thought I was dying), all of them told me my heart was healthy, I wasn't suffering from heart disease, just anxiety and stress related symptoms. Despite 4 doctors, heart monitors I don't believe them.. I can't.. My mind is stuck, trying to convince myself I am dying daily. Deep down I know that my chest and back pain is caused from a mixture of stress and my Ibs and acid.. I know that my jaw pain is caused from sinus issues and sensitive gums and prodding them constantly, I know my arms hurt because of trapped nerves from stress.. So why can't my mind let my rest! It's got to the point where I've had enough, I can't live like it anymore.. Constant thoughts of ending it all, but I'm only 21, I have so much to live for and I can't ruin my life. I'm just stuck in a place I can't get out of. It's truly terrifying.
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Ive suffered from health anxiety for a few months now but i'm now stuck in a vicious cycle! I have diagnosed myself with DVT'S , a brain tumour , an impending stroke just to name a few. I had my first smear test on monday due to me googling cervical cancer and having a lot of the symptoms. I have a 2-3 week wait for the results it's only day 3 but i'm at my witts end! ive rang the hospital and my dr.s to see if they have the results . No. I cannot take the waiting i have literally convinced myself i have cervical cancer i have all the aches and pains but i dont know if thats just from googling reading then my mind making the ones i don't have up!!!! I had lots of blood tests a few weeks ago including full blood count liver etc.. all clear and i also had a lumbar xray as id been having lower back pain that went down my leg into my foot the majority of the time it's a burning sensation , i found out through google that a tumour could cause the pains i've been having as my leg is slightly swollen as well . i cant stop googling i'm making myself ill. I'm not eating at all. i keep waking up at night with panicky nervous feeling in my tummy. i feel like a total mess. I have mirtazapine but too scared to take it because of the side effects even though i've taken it before. I just don't know what to do. I took a vitamin on a empty tummy earlier and now i've got severe tummyache so i've now convinced myself i've got a tummy ulcer that's gonna pop any minute! Please someone give me some advice . im at a loss what to do . I have 4 small children whom i love dearly but its starting to affect them also now. I can't calm down or relax i'm just a complete and utter mess!!! My dr.s have given up on me as i've been so many times they blame it on anxiety but i feel there is something seriously wrong with me
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I suffer with health anxiety and i never accept any symptoms are anxiety. I have diagnosed myself with every cancer going with dr google. I have had a back ache on my right for a few weeks, sickness and night sweats. I had loads of bloods took last week, blood pressure took and she listened to my chest and all were fine. I keep feeling like i can't breath properly and i am conscious of taking every breath, it feels like breathing through sludge. I have a feeling in the back of my throat as if i have been exercising hard or breathing hard. I am convincing myself that the breathlessness and back ache is lung cancer now.
I am not actually out of breath as in i am struggling to breath it's the feeling that i can't. The feeling has been here most of the day. Anyone else know this feeling?
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I'm 19 years old, female. I think I have anxiety.. Mostly about my health. I'm always freakish out thinking I have cancer or something serious, I make myself think I have something wrong with me.. A few months ago I was sick and I could have gotten better sooner if I didn't worry so much, it took me a month to get better because I kept telling myself I was too sick and I wasn't getting better but once I stopped thinking about it, I got better. Also with my tonsils I always think they're gonna be swollen so they are when I think that. But my worst issue is breathing.. I always feel like I have trouble breathing even when I'm not having an anxiety attack just randomly I'll feel like I'm breathing shallowly or just not getting enough air and when I REALLY think about it I start hyperventilating and almost pass out until I call someone and they tell me to calm down. When I have anxiety attacks I get all shaky, I get dizzy, pale, feel like I'm going to pass out and have really shallow breaths.. Idk what's wrong with me I think it's from my past or because I'm always so stressed out about my family. I also I have a problem going to the bathroom.. Tmi sorry but I can't poop anymore I'm always constipated and it always comes out in balls or logs but lumpy, I really don't know what's wrong with me so if someone could help that'd be amazing. Also, when I was at the ER months ago they checked my lungs and everything and said everything's fine, just said I have low potassium, idek why but when I was sick I didn't eat for a week so maybe that's why?
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I've got a 3 year old son and since he was born I've suffered with depression, anxiety, health anxiety and PTSD. I'm just at the end of my degree which is stressful but it is for everyone. For the past 6 months or so (since my relationship ended with my son's dad) I've had the worst health anxiety and it's completely taken over my life.
I'm constantly going to the doctors or the hospital and panicking only to find that they don't really take me seriously anymore which just makes everything worse.
My symptoms from the past few months include.. pelvic pain, bleeding between periods, dizziness, palpitations, loss of appetite, IBS like symptoms whenever I do eat, which has in turn caused weight loss, insomnia, hot/cold flashes, and so many more. Basically, I just feel ill all the time and obviously I've convinced myself I've got cervical cancer and many other types of cancer.
My doctor keeps telling me that I am very stressed and this is a normal response, but it doesn't help and I'm driving myself mad worrying that there's something seriously wrong with me and I'm going to leave my son without a mum.
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Basically, I have had a terrible month with (what I hope) is health anxiety. Over the last month I have had the following symptoms:
abdominal pain
hip pain
back pain (lower mostly, but entire back at times)
dizziness
tingly in hands and feet
muscle tremors
"bubbly" feeling in legs
mind fog, not being able to concentrate, almost out of body feeling
chest pain
palpitations
bleeding between periods
constipation/diarrhea
fatigue
feeling of throat closing up
many others I'm forgetting in this moment
I have been to multiple doctors and specialists and urgent care and the emergency room and have had the following tests done in the last 4 weeks (all normal):
ekg (2)
abdominal ct scan
pelvic exam
abdominal/pelvic ultrasound
blood tests -cbc, lyme, electrolytes
echocardiogram
24 hour holter monitor
MRI of lower lumbar
x-ray of cervical spine
nerve conduction test
My continued fears (in no particular order) are:
blood clot
cancer (bone, uterine, etc)
bladder/kidney problems
aneurysm
circulation problems
MS
reproductive disease
that I'm actually crazy
The only thing that any of these tests showed was bacterial vaginosis (sorry for being so descriptive), of which I actually had no symptoms and think was just a secondary random problem, took antibiotics. And the MRI showed a transitional vertebrae (fusion of pelvis and spine) which they said I would have had since birth and usually causes no problems. I have a follow up with an orthopedist in a month or so, but my all my symptoms don't make sense with just that. I have been given Zantac for acid reflux (which I hated and only took twice), ibuprofen for pain (doesn't work), lorazepam as needed.
I am OBSESSED with googling my symptoms. I told myself I wasn't going to do it all today and I already have about 12 times. I was in the emergency room until midnight last night thinking I had a kidney stone or something and they found nothing wrong with me and told me to follow up with my primary.
My biggest issue right now is I am leaving for an 11 day vacation to Jamaica on Sunday (obviously that's not a problem, I should be ecstatic), but I am CONVINCED there is something wrong with me and I will be sick in a third world country. I am honestly considering not going.
For the record, I recognize that I'm an anxious person. I worry incessantly about anything and everything. I am moody and irritable. My anxiety has waxed and waned through the years, have tried medication but never stuck with it. For the most part I can manage it and live my life, but this has been the month from hell! I honestly believe I have something physically wrong with me and that all these CANNOT be anxiety symptoms. I have nothing to feel anxious about, and like I said before, should actually be looking forward to my upcoming vacation (I am terrified of flying, but haven't really been thinking of that as I've been consumed with these health problems). The only thing that sort of works is to take a lorazapam, which doesn't make my symptoms go away completely, but just makes me feel a little calmer about it.
I feel like once you've been labeled with anxiety, doctors chalk all your symptoms up to that. The logical part of my brain tells me that I've had a billion tests and if there was anything seriously wrong with me, it would have been found. But the obsessive part of me doesn't trust the doctors and think they are missing something huge. This has started to affect my work and my marriage. My husband tries to be supportive, but he's starting to get frustrated. He doesn't understand why I can't trust all the doctors and millions of tests.
As I sit here, I'm having bad side and back pain. Trying to avoid taking a lorazepam as I only have a limited supply. Today I am convinced it is related to my reproductive organs, but my husband thinks I continually move on to other symptoms as things get ruled out (also I had a transvaginal ultrasound that was normal). I just don't understand how anxiety can cause so much pain. Ironically, I have been feeling much less anxious about my normal stuff (being a passenger in a car, worrying something bad is going to happen, etc) since these physical symptoms started and have basically consumed my life.
I understand I probably need to see a therapist, and plan to make an appointment after I return from vacation (if I go), but how do I deal with this in the meantime? How do you KNOW when physical symptoms are anxiety?
Sorry for the long post, thanks if you read all the way through. Just had to get all these thoughts out because I feel like nobody understands.
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I'm looking for someone who understands who can give me reassurance and support as I constantly believe I am ill more so I'm scared to death of getting cancer and every niggle or pain sets off alarm bells. I have had health scares in the past such as breast lumps, abnormal cells on cervix all were treated and were ok. I have had several family members get cancer some who have died not close enough family members to be considered for genetic testing though. I am currently having problems with my kidneys the pain was unbearable I thought the worst but an ultrasound revealed a stone stuck in my ureter. After hanging on to see specialists etc I am finally having a CT scan tonight, (my worst fear) this is to see clearly the stone to determine course of treatment but of course I'm petrified that this CT is going to find cancer somewhere in my body. I particularly worry about cervical cancer although all my yearly smear tests have been ok this is an area of most concern and pains that I'm experiencing in my groin (most likely kidney stone related) worry me. This anxiety is crippling I get reassurance for one health issue then other symptom appears. So between pains from minor health issues and symptoms im probably creating myself from my anxiety my head is well and truly mashed. I hate going to the doctors for fear of what they might find. I have completed CBT which did not help so to hear from someone who is living the same hell as me would be comforting although I wouldn't wish my symptoms on my worst enemy. I have a happy marriage, kids a good job I should not be feeling as low and so preoccupied with health worries as I do.
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Really suffering and struggling with health anxiety regarding my heart. Is anyone going through anything similar?
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So it all started just over 3 weeks ago I had a shooting pain in my head followed by my whole body going weak and numb-like, I panicked! After that I haven't been right. I've had shooting pains all over my body, tingles mainly in the left hand, dizziness, smoky vision, flutters under the skin, scared that my limbs were gonna stop working so i've constantly been checking them, I now have pain on both sides of my abdomen under my ribs and I constantly and I mean constantly feel soooo sick! I've been to 4 diffo docs all of which say it's my anxiety! They've only checked my blood pressure and pulse felt my tummy etc how can they be so sure?
Pic honestly feel sooo I'll i'm not getting out of bed I can't eat ... I think I'm on the verge of having a breakdown! Everyone around me has had enough but they don't understand how sick I feel!
anyone ever very honestly felt like they were physically ill all day everyday from anxiety?
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I've been on citalopram now for the last 2 years for what started from work induced stress causing anxiety attacks and depression. However, I've since started a new and better job but anxiety and panic is all still there, even depression. My anxiety now seems to be focused around something more worrying that work, it's now caused by thoughts of death, not so much the process of dying but the inevitability of death, the idea that is is nothingness after death and also how I perceive time being quick. I'm 24 years old with 2 beautiful daughters but feel like it was yesterday that I was 16. My panic attacks are awful with terrible heart flutters and light headedness. Felt derealisation/personalisation symptoms more times than I can count. Some attacks have leave me physically sick and bed bound for a whole day.
These thoughts were just an every now and then thing but now it's almost constant. I've read all sorts to try and stop this fear of death. I've read scientific theories or reports into the survival of consciousness etc etc...
It's gone too far and now I'm booking my first cbt session but I was considering also hypnotherapy as well. Is there anyone else that has had or that has this sort or anxiety? Has anyone also tried hypnotherapy alongside medication and cbt?
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I have a son who thinks he is going to die young and is causing him anxiety everyday it is literally spoiling his life, He is fit and healthy other than this as he plays sports. The thing is this, I need to help him get over this and I need help with technics to make him well again. Any suggestions that helped you overcome this feeling of death?
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I am a girl and I am 21. I'd to know if I suffer from anxiety or maybe it's just a crisis that will soon pass. However,every single day I wake up thinking that another day passed and we all are getting older as a result. I can't stand the idea that one day I will lose my parents. Of course no one wants it but the thing is that I can't control these scary thoughts and whenever I have fun with my parents or close people I unwillingly start to think that one day this day will be just a memory.This is so overwhelming.I can't enjoy even a moment that's why I prefer being alone. The fact that my parents are much older than the parents of my friends makes it even worse. I count days, months, try to see if they have too many wrinkles.It is so unfair to them but I can't help doing it.I love them too much but I get that this is not normal.I used to be a very calm,happy,rational girl but after graduation I don't see the girl I used to be.
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I am struggling with existential depression, anxiety, fear of getting old and death, fear of losing and so on. Where does one find help with this? I'm having no success with therapists.
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I have really bad health anxiety and for the past few weeks my upper chest has been hurting/aching when moving my head or neck or shoulder certain ways. It hurts to press down it feels almost bruised but it's not.it's mostly right under my collarbone. Has anyone else had this?
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I'm 19 years old and since having a baby I have suffered with anxiety. Standing in queues makes me feel like I'm going to pass out and even going out on my own worries me. After seeing a psychic a few months ago she told me to go for a smear. Well that set me off worrying even more! Even though everything she told me was wrong that really plays on my mind and it's stopping me from sleeping as even though I have no symptoms in convinced I have cancer! I don't know what to do and I am too embarrassed to talk to partner I case he thinks I'm being silly!
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I had colon cancer in Jan. 2009 and a liver met in early 2012. Surgery for both and last blood work and CT was fine. Since the liver resection in 2012, I suffer from disease of the day! Everything is major in my mind. Doctor has me on Klonopin .5mg. We'd tried Ativan but it lasted for a few hours and the panic was back.
Is there a type of therapy or treatment for someone who is a hypochondriac? My gastro said he believes it PTSD and that it's common after major surgeries and cancers but I hate being like this.
The fears are really stupid. Most people wouldn't even notice the things I go to the walk in clinic for. I sometimes get so bad I go 3 times a week and I can't afford it!
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