Depression :: Suicidal Negative Thoughts Flowing Through My Head
Nov 25, 2014
I am on a serious suicide path. I can't think straight. all I have are negative thoughts flowing through my head. I sitting here with a knife about to cut myself because there's no other way I can relive the pain. I don't know what I need right now. I need help I know that. I need a friend. I don't have friends. I have not a single person in my life that understands me in any way possible. I just want someone to listen and not criticize me. Or judge me. I am so tired of being judged. My head hurts so bad right now... everything hurts. There isn't anyone I can talk to...no one cares. Just someone please please help me before I do something dangerous to myself that can't be fixed. I don't want to hear a single "I'm sorry_______" because I know your not.
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Sometimes I think I'm going crazy. I'm not being able to even hold a job right now. This makes my self esteem goes downhill and I can't get up of my bed because I fear people.
i'm a mid 30s woman and I'm not sure what made me become so sick. I have a string of failed relationships and in one of them I suffered domestic abuse. I started dating my current boyfriend as soon as my other relationship ended and had too many problems with him but we are still together. He is an ex addict and I'm always afraid he turns back to drinking and doing drugs.
sometimes I think I'm getting insane. I have panic attacks all the time, I can't process my feelings. I tried group meditation but I became too scared of people in general I just gave up. I'm locked home for a whole month now.
im truly thinking about ending my life. I don't see a point. My whole being is taken with these bad sensations, feelings, lack of hope, lack of control, my thoughts flow uncontrollable like a river and I just can't process anything. I'm getting old and I am a huge burden to everybody.
I don't wanna die. I wanted to know if anyone went through these hard times like me and was able to live again.
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Experiencing negative thoughts, paranoid thoughts, and extreme anxiousness where I am focusing on dumb things. Do I stop taking it? I don't have a follow up doct apt for another 5 weeks
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I'm 17 and been suicidal for five years, i want to die all the time, preoccupation with suicidal thoughts has affected everything like my studies a sudden plummet in my academic score and physical health too, i only weigh 39 kg n im 5"3 tall girl. I want to die all the times i don't want to live Is this normal?
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At least i can admit that. Im suicidal. I have suicidal thoughts. I cut myself but not so i bleed just so it hurts. I've been suicidal since i was younger but not its worse. I isolate myself a lot. I'm never truly happy. I feel useless, unloved, hated ect. I'm sad a lot but pretend like nothing is wrong so i dont have to hear 5 or more speeches 20 minutes -1 hour long from my family to be treated the same way again in 3 weeks. Or be asked what's wrong only to lie. I don't have any true friends and no one will listen without giving me useless advice. So im pretty much here to ask if there's any online therapist sites that anyone can direct me to. I don't want my family to know. They found out once and it was like living in hell. They thought i was crazy, "helped", lied to me, treated me like i was mentally ill. It wasn't fun and i can't tell them the real reason i want to do it so that was fun. So if anyone can help me. Please don't say tell your mom because she can't and won't help, talk to the counselor at your school because all she did was made me cry for two hours straight, don't do it because i've heard that from friends, teachers, family and on here way too many times anything like that. I have trust issues so that's why I'm asking for online... It's easier for me.
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I am new to this site and have been having alot of issues as of late. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Even with medication I was having a hard time with life and due to this was let go from my job. I lost my medication when I lost my insurance. I began to spiral and crashed hard about a month ago. When I get depressed I become self destructive. I started drinking heavily, self harm mutilation, and had an affair with a stripper in which I received oral sex. When I sobered up a bit the guilt got to me so much I had to be hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. I am on new medication (buspar, wellbutrin xl, and remeron) but still have an issue with guilt and anxiety about the affair and possible std I may have gotten. I can't stay out of my head and still have many suicidal thoughts. I broke down and let my wife know what happened, for her part she is mad but willing to work it out. Any advice would help. Also do any of my meds cause horrible stomach cramps?
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My doctor wants me to take Gabapentin for some disc fragments giving me pain in my back. I'm worried because the side effects say that the side effects are depression or suicidal thoughts. Has anyone ever had these type of side effects or problems in general with this drug? Did it help them with their back pain!
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Today's been one of the best days in terms of how ive been feeling for a while....but then the negative thoughts started to come back again.like no matter what I do i always end up being worst off (even if it's not 100% true or all the time) im trying not to have these thoughts as this is what started the depression initially in the first place,and I have a reakky good life for the most part,apart from alot of stress or alot of things going on.been taking one 5-htp for the past three nights to try and get to sleep,and had to take a proposal this morning to calm myself down.still have about another month before I see someone to sort all these confusing thoughts out.
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I have and still do suffer from anxiety and depression. And recently have been having negative thoughts, things I shouldn't. I feel like such a terrible person because I know that's not me I couldn't hurt a fly. And I feel like i'm all alone, i'm ashamed of my own self, its worst when i'm alone it's like I get lost in my own mind and I hate it. I'm on medicine for my anxiety, and have a doctors appt coming up. Is this occurring because of my anxiety/depression? Am I the only one?
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Both of my children (19 and 21) left home last Sunday and went to live in the USA. I've been a single parent for 10 years so now I am on my own after 22 years and I feel so desperately lost and worthless like there's no point in me being here anymore, my job is done. I work for myself at home so I don't even go out apart from taking my dog for a walk. I suffer from chronic back pain caused by a sporting injury many years ago for which I take Morphine and on its own I can normally cope with but coupled with this desperately lonely feeling I don't know if I can make it through another day. I've searched the internet for professional help for my situation, but there doesn't seem to be anything available. Should I go and see my GP (who barely knows me) or does anybody have any suggestions? I just feel like a total failure and don't know who to turn to
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I have suicidal thoughts every day, real vivid ones, I know where, when, how etc. sometimes I cry and I'm not sure why and when i start it can be hours till I've stopped completely, I don't mean all out bawling btw, just teary really, but that's the bad days most the time I feel fairly content, I can laugh and joke and go out with friends. I think I've lost my purpose in life I feel like I don't know why I'm here or what I'm meant to do but I don't feel what I imagine depression to feel like.
Throughout this though the good and bad I think of suicide every day like I said but every thought ends with me being found in time, ends with me being saved.
Do you think I need help and if so where do you go and what do you say? I'm not good at expressing myself or talking to people, none of friends or family know I feel this way. Is this normal ?
Do I just need to man up and get on with life?
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I'm 19 and was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks about 3 weeks ago and i got prescribed klonopin. anyways a week after i was diagnosed with depression i started feeling very down and not myself like i didn't even want to get up from bed or take showers or go out i just layed there and cried most of the time and had suicidal thoughts. so i finally decided to see a doctor and was diagnosed with depression and given fluoxetine 20mg i been on it for about 4 days, but this medicine is making me feel really out of it and for the past two days i have woken up feeling very agitated and fidgety and sometimes i don't even feel like myself i've heard this is called depersonalization and it feels awful i also feel like i've gotten more angrier with the medication, things annoy me more easily. sometimes i just sit there and i just wanna scream. overall i think my anxiety has gone away its just the depression now and it sucks i just wanna feel like myself again and i'm scared i never will.
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I have ptsd following severe septic shock in 2013 with no memory of being in ICU for 5 days and then Sudden cardiac arrest 2 times this year, Now have pacemaker. Do not sleep well, startle at slightest noise, become agitated or angry at slightest provocation ,occasionally suicidal thoughts. What can I do ? No one seems to understand.
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I have been on 30mg Mirt for over 3 years. It helped me sleep and all was fine. BUT I have put on 2 stone and cannot lose it. I went to my GP in June and asked how to come off it. He said to halve my dose for 2 weeks and if I felt ok to stop altogether. This I did. It was a disaster. Panic attacks, insomnia and suicidal thoughts. I Went right back on to my original dose and took a good month to stabilise.
In September I decided to try again, slowly. A new GP said that I was obviously unusually sensitive to this drug as she had never known anyone have a problem before.
Since then I have v gradually reduced down a quarter of a tablet every so often. About 4 weeks ago I was down to 7.5mg/day. I then started dropping off the tablets altogether. I am now on 7.5mg 4 nights a week.
I feel terrible. I was ok until the last 4 weeks. I feel shaky, hungover and nauseous all the time. I can't sleep and the nausea makes it worse. I have noticed that 4 days after dropping a dose I get terrible debilitating stomach cramps and a fearsome headache. This lasts for 24 hours and then leaves me with background nausea etc.
I would welcome advice as to whether to just keep on dropping the 7.5mg relatively quickly (every 2 or 3 weeks or so), or to wait until this awful state passes and then drop another and start feeling ill all over again. I just want it over with asap, but have to continue to work full time.
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Hi everyone, I'm new here and I've decided to post here because I don't know where to turn. I've been feeling suicidal because I have no social life, I'm behind in school and I switched to a charter school so that I could graduate faster but this only made my situation worse. On the first day of school I went to my class and I felt so overwhelmed by the amount of people in one class. After school I went crying to the principal because I knew that my social anxiety was never going to leave me alone no matter how much I tried. So she helped me by putting me in a small office with another teacher and another girl who has Social anxiety too but she rarely ever comes to school.
Today, I was alone all day because both the teacher and the other student didn't come. I felt so alone and I couldn't concentrate on my packets (school work) which is pretty typical because I've been having problems focusing in school since last school year. I told another staff member if I could stay home and do my work instead of coming to school because I just didn't like being alone and I couldn't concentrate but she said I couldn't do that because I had to come to school so that they get paid. Honestly I don't know what to do. I can't drop out of school , there are no online school services in my area, and I don't wanna go back to a regular public school because having 8 different classes a day was a nightmare to me last year.
My parents already know of my problems but they can't help me. Honestly I don't wanna go to school tomorrow because I'm just feeling so depressed and I can't take it anymore. my dad thinks I'm procrastinating. Honestly, he doesn't understand exactly how I feel. I feel like the whole world is falling on me and I feel like I'm never going to succeed in life, which is one of the things my dad himself told me.
I don't know what to do or where to turn to. I can't dropout of high school or take online school and I can't get medical help because my parents don't have health care.
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I've been trying to get off this awful little tablet.
Basically suffered anxiety from a young age now 32. Started getting ocd negative thoughts over a year ago. It scared been at first it was all my worst fears playing tricks with me. So docs put me on mirtazapine as i really don't like taking any meds, I take the odd pain killer but other than that I try not to take anything. I especially didn't want to take AD. But with pressure from folk around me and docs recommend advice they suggested it was best I try mirtazapine as I suffer from anxiety disorder. It was causing me to not want to go out to certain places etc.. Anyway its been over a year now and by far the worst of my life. I only started on 15mg as it blew my hair off, literally couldn't function and ended up bed bound due to feeling so all over. Anyway after a couple of weeks it eased and I started getting out more and felt more positive maybe it's placebo Effect, no idea it's all just been a blur. I suffer from a vertigo( balance disorder) it pops up now and again so I know sometimes I have to rest, but it's the worst thing when your an over thinker. Anyway I've been back and forth to the docs and getting no where, some say up the mirtazapine some say they think am best off not being on Ad. I'm currently waiting for my Cbt. I've tried since Dec to reduce off these awful tablets as I'm convinced they are not doing anything other than making me crave foods at night and sleep qnd have weird dreams. I wake up feeling so hung over
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Have been on 175mg sertraline for 3 weeks and am starting to feel better than I was. I had a really good week last week, then on Monday this week it was as though it wasn't normal to be feeling good and I started feeling anxious again! Does anyone else get this - i'm sure it's because I've had anxiety for so long that it's become a habit and feeling happy is not normal to me! I am hoping that the Sertraline will stop these intrusive thoughts - this is my main obstacle to feeling good again.
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I was previously on cipramil 40mg for a few years for panic attacks. Over the last year they got bad again so my dr decided to change me to venlafaxine which did not suit me so I got them to put me back on cipramil. I've gone up to 40 mg over a month and have started to get negative thoughts which really scare me. Has anyone else had this side effect? I think it's because I went up so fast. I rang the clinic and was advised to go back to 30mg and am due back in the clinic next Monday. I don't know whether to come off them completely and try manage with Xanax alone or go down to 20mg.
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I'm on my 3rd week of flu and needing some suggestions on how to deal with all the negative thoughts.
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This is week 13 on 20mg anxiety a bit better low mood better it's just the intrusive/negative thoughts that are making me down is this normal at this stage ?
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Does anyone know if Sertraline causes negative thoughts or is it because of my anxiety it just i'm not as depressed as before but can't get rid of these negative thoughts and I think it's that what's making me feel down been on 5g for 5 weeks then 100mg for a week
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