Depression :: Being Depressed Has Hindered Me From Making Friends
Aug 3, 2015
im 21 years old and have been depressed since i was 13. so i went through high school and 3 years of university depressed and havent been able to really make any friends because of this. and now not having friends i feel like keeps me stuck in my room all the time because i dont have anyone to see or do anything with. this all just makes me more depressed...
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things just don't seem to be getting any better I can feel myself becoming detached from the world my family and my partner and friends all I do is sit in my room alone coz I can't face anyone and all I do is cry :-( had my tablets changed which I start tomorrow which I'm very anxious about.. I'm so scared of what my future holds if I can not get better.. I have everything to look forward too getting married getting my own place and everything is there for the taking but I can not seem to get myself out this rut and get myself back to work the thought terrifies me ! Really don't know what to do .......
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I am 17 male and on the medicine paxil for anxiety not depression just anxiety the deal is this is making me depressed is it possible for it to make me have bad thoughts or can that be the anxiety?
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i take this medication for panic attacks but it makes me feel so depressed that i don't want to be on planet earth anymore.
ive suffered depression and anxiety for almost 10 yrs on and off now, i'm only 26 and going out of my mind.
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Ive been on klonopin for about ten months now and the for the last two months i've become severely depressed. I've never had depression ever. I've suffered from anxiety attacks and this stuff worked for a while but then started to seem to have negative effects. They've been unbearable. Bad thoughts and hopelessness are a cpl to name a few. I tried two tapers of it and find i can come off it. It's been a nightmare. 1st taper was a quarter of a pill 1mg. Then a few weeks later i stabilized had gotten .5s and started takin em twice a day still at a total of 1 mg and with a pill cutter was taking 6.25 percent off a pill and was having horrible nightmares to the point i was afraid to go to sleep. I dunno *** is happening to me but i feel like im losing my mind.
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I've been diagnosed with hypothyroidism for almost two years and the only change I've seen in my weight is it keeps going up. I've just lost all faith in myself after trying for so long and hard to lose the weight. I hate how I look and I constantly think about it. I'm so so down all the time and I just can't see a way back. I was heavy years ago and lost a lot of weight (over 3 stone) and I felt and looked fantastic. I enjoyed it for a few years before the hypothyroidism. I know people say looks are shallow and unimportant but its important to me.
I just feel so let down by my own body and so bitter towards people who don't have thyroid issues. I don't know how to make myself feel better.
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HOW IT STARTED:
Yes, I was one of those annoying people who all the teachers liked.
Once, one of my professors even told me I was one of the "golden children" of my year. I suppose I worked so hard to get good grades because all my life I had been encouraged and enabled to do my best. I was used to success. In college I even overcame my shyness and gained a lot of good friends and a handful of real, true friends who I deeply care for. I had a part-time job in my fiend that I worked between classes, and I was looking forward to continuing my upward climb to success.
So when I lost my out-of-college job because the company had a financial catastrophe that made it impossible for them to hire me, I figured, "Hey, I'll just get another job and move on with my life. No big."
But almost a year later I still didn't have a job, and because I'm inherently introverted I had lost touch with most of my friends because they were all too far away to see in person and I'm terrible at keeping up with social media. I was living at home with my parents, sleeping in the spare bed in my sisters' room, and slowly realizing that all the people who were "Looking forward to seeing me succeed in the future" were going to be direly disappointed in me.
FIRST WAVE:
New Year 2013 brought on odd feelings. I still had hope that things would improve, but they consistently didn't. I lost a few big freelance clients that I was counting on because I made a few dumb mistakes, and that made things worse. I started crying in the bathroom for "no reason," not understanding why I was feeling so down and out when I still had potential, I just wasn't living up to it yet.
Fast forward a few months and I had basically given up on myself. I believed I was a loser, someone who had let down the many people who had trusted me with their wisdom and advice. I wasn't one of the "golden children," I was a pathetic fake who couldn't even call someone on the phone without feeling incredibly anxious, much less actually interview for a job. All the confidence I'd gained in college was gone and I felt even less sure of myself than I did in high school.
It was like the "real me" got locked in a room somewhere and I couldn't find her.
My mom noticed I was moody and finally confronted me about it, but instead of helping it only made me feel like she was even more disappointed in me and fed my unconfidence even more. Then, one day, after my mom got angry at me once again for being unable to communicate my real thoughts because I was so confused myself, my dad came out and let me sit there and cry until I had composed myself enough to speak. He was calm enough to keep me relatively calm and we discovered that the depression was probably coming from a few different sources. I was feeling lonely without my friends. I was back in my childhood home and reverting to the unconfident person I used to be. I was disappointed in myself and projecting imagined feelings of disappointment from others onto myself. I never got out of the house so I felt isolated. I wasn't making a steady income and that was stressing me out. Etc.
I decided to stop freelancing full time and get a job so I could at least get out of the house, make a steady income, and be around people. But after several interviews that were just awful because I either didn't have enough qualifications for that particular job or because I was having an off day and feeling really socially awkward, I didn't get any of the jobs.
SECOND WAVE:
I revamped my hope. But then it got crushed.
I'm still not as bad as I was last year, but I'm starting to feel like randomly crying again and sometimes my skin feels like it's going to wriggle off with how much I just want to get out of my house. I'm so afraid that I'm going to delve back into self-loathing-ville again, and I know that I sabotage myself when I'm like that. I so do not want to lost this tiny bit of momentum I've achieved, but I can't make things move faster. I can't get a job any faster, I can't get a car until I have money from a job, I can't get a job sometimes because I don't already have a car, I'm stuck, I'm stuck, I'm going crazy.
SO...
I know a lot of people around my age are going through things like this but for my particular situation does anyone know how to help me push through until things improve? I'm getting so tired of feeling so bad and I'm losing my energy trying to keep going. My parents are enabling me to stay home and do nothing but I don't want to stay home and do nothing! I want to get a job and be independent and have autonomy and start becoming who I used to be again so I can be a confident, awesome person! AAH!
Also, right now I'm not feeling so bad so I have a sense of humor, but in an hour or so I might be curled up in the bathroom crying into a towel so no one will hear me. I got on this forum in the first place because my skin was feeling antsy and I wanted to get away so badly and I wanted to know if other people felt the same way. Crazy mood swings, anyone?
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I've been taking Mirtazapine for a little over two weeks, and apart from making me eat and sleep all the time, it's having no effect. I know it can take a while to work (I've been on a few others before this) but I was wondering if anyone else had experience with it? How long did it take to work for you, if it did?
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I have recently been prescribed Mirtazapine as the Dr says it won't affect my libido or make me gain weight. I have gained even more weight, (recently fought to lose a stone from rapid weight gain from antipsychotics) and feeling very cross. I feel more depressed and my state is becoming angry every day. Has anyone else experienced similar effects. I used to take Fluoxetine which worked wonders but he won't allow me to take it anymore as he says it makes me too hyper.
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I'm a 60 year old woman and I really cant cope with the fact that I'm old and gaining weight. I just cant stop eating chocolate and other snacks it's really hopeless...I so wish I was dead, this time a year ago I weight 10 kg less and the last year I have seen my body change so much.I wish I could lose weight.
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I'm a 20 year old guy...I'm at a point in my life where ive realised that i had to get rid of my old friends in order to be happy.My old friends were all losers,they were all pessimistic,never got girls,always complained,never wanted to go to parties etc. I live in greece and during summer its really beuatiful here,lots of people,lots of parties and fun..All those summers i spent with my old friends and them compaining that in order to get laid or be accepted in a group you have to be "in" or have a car,a hot body,money etc.We never did anything..Just moaning and complaining...Whenever i was with them i always dreamed of being somewhere else..With other people,doing trips around the beautiful beaches,go to parties etc. I decided i have to get rid of them because i want to make a new start in my life.. The thing is im completely alone at the moment..And its making me really depressed..Depressed because now im alone with my thoughts....Where should i meet new people?? I want to meet optimistic,outgoing people...I don't want to look back
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been depressed for 7 months. going through withdrawals of effexor. been tried on different antidepressants. now on prozac for 1 week.
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been on venlafaxine for 17 years. dr.took me off in three days. i think i was taken down to fast. been off since oct. still feel real depressed is my main concern. i am taking prozac for the last three weeks. anyone have any suggestions for me
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I am writing to you as I feel I need to talk to somebody. I am 24 and finished a double degree in business last year. I started my degree in my hometown and did an exchange through my university which meant the last two years of my degree were to be finished in France. I moved there at 21 to study. Finished my studies last year and decided to stay for an undetermined period of time. So I lived in Paris for a year and could not find a career job. I eventually found a bar job and I worked 4 nights a week from about 7pm til 5am every night. I would work nights and sleep until past noon. I would have about 4 hours to myself at home to run errands or go out on walks, see friends, visit places in the day, and then I would go to work again in the evenings. I formed strong bonds with my colleagues, and had many new friends. We would always spend time together outside of work. We became one big group and were all fairly close. But after a few months, it all became a routine. I would not get out of bed until I would have to go to work again. I would apply for career jobs here and there but I was quite comfortable where I was. Around me, I would see my ex-uni colleagues get great jobs, enrol in masters' degrees and travel the world for amazing job opportunities. I'm not really a jealous person, but every time I would see someone succeed, I would feel less and less worthy. This year I realised I was and still am depressed. I think I've been feeling this way for about a year. I feel worthless, incapable of working in a job the old me would've liked. I have no motivation for anything whatsoever. All I want to do is stay in bed and watch TV all day and repeat the next day. I feel like if I engage in something, I will fail. I loathe myself, inside and out. Sometimes I think I should just disappear. I feel sad all the time, I'm tired all day, every day. I hate the way I talk, act, look and behave. I don't think there is one thing that I like about myself physically and emotionally. I have good friends, but they don't know about any of my thoughts. I always sit and imagine a different life for me. But I don't see past tomorrow. I don't really care about anything, or anyone. I don't go out too much, when I do, I feel like I'm doing it so I don't upset my friends. I am the quiet person of the group. I feel awkward around people I don't know very well, and I tend to avoid parties or social gatherings where I don't have to be at, out of obligation. In august this year I quit my job in Paris and moved back to my hometown. I was getting sick of living like this there. I now live at home with my parents. Ever since I came back in september, I've been looking for jobs. I've had very few call-backs, but I just let the call go to voicemail, because I'm scared to talk to that potential employer. I'm scared I will make a fool of myself. I'm scared I'm not good enough, not motivated enough, not capable. I don't see how I could be an asset to a company. I don't think I'd be any good. My parents constantly compare me to my older brother who is doing great at work! I hate this. But then again, I have no interest in doing anything for myself. I just want to go and hide somewhere forever. Being back here is ok, it wasn't my first choice, it was my last resort. I still wish I would live in Europe somewhere. I feel trapped, guilty and ugly. I feel like I have nothing good to offer, like I don't add any value to anything. I don't know what to do anymore, I thought feeling so apathetic and numb was normal. Just a part of finding yourself. But I'm so lost that I don't see how I could ever find myself, because there is nothing to find. I'm so frustrated and angry all the time. At everything, nothing pleases me, nothing phases me. I'm really bored. I feel like I'm just wasting everybody's time. I personally, don't have time to waste, because I don't really care about my time. I'm just so sick of life. I feel like I bring nothing good, and I feel guilty because my parents care about me, but I don't care about anything. I've been applying to a lot of jobs, but never call anyone back as I think they could tell that I'm useless. I hope you can give me some pointers of what I'm doing wrong. I'm just sick of being in this rut. Maybe this is just me, and nothing really excites me as much as a normal person. But I'm so bored in life. I don everything on auto-pilot, and when I'm anywhere, all I can think about is how to get home quicker and be on my own. There's really nothing I look forward to, other than being in bed, when I'm not in bed. I know there is so much to do out there, but I find none of it exciting, I would rather be inside than go exploring nature, or go to the beach.
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I'm 17. This has been on my mind for a long time now but I'm too scared to speak to anyone face to face at the moment because I think they might think I'm being dramatic. I think I'm depressed and I don't know whether to go and see my GP. I have felt this way since I was about 14/15 and can't remember feeling any different since then. I just feel hollow and almost empty, I don't even feel sad anymore just emotionless. At times it is worse for example when I get into arguments with my parents but apart from that I just feel the same every single day and it is so tiring. I feel mentally exhausted from doing nothing, if that's possible? I also feel so so tired all the time and feel as if I have absolutely no energy whatsoever. I'm currently studying for my A levels and this means that I have quite a lot of free periods. I spent these at home sleeping if I can. All I want to do is sleep. I also have quite bad skin and this makes me feel disgusting and not want to even get out of bed, brush my teeth, wash my hair and go to school. When I am in school and around my friends I feel slightly better than when I am at home, I can get along with them and try not to be moody. At home I hardly speak and when I do it's either being moody towards my mum and being unintentionally mean to my sister. This all makes me feel very guilty. I also have a boyfriend of 2 years and I don't feel as excited/happy when I go to see him anymore, I have completely lost interest in having sex and I feel this may also be due to be feeling very fat and ugly. I always question why he is with me or why he likes me when I am so ugly. I don't know what to do. I have so much more to say but I've said the main things that are causing me problems. This is interfering with my life, I have an ambition to become a psychologist but that means going to uni and that means getting good grades. Good grades need motivation, energy and a good frame of mind yet I'm completely lacking in these things.
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Over the past 3 years I've practically shut myself out of every social situation I can think of, not because of fear but because I'd rather be playing video games. Over the course of those 3 years I've lost all my friends and postponed school, work, and relationships. Coming to this point where I realize what I've done I became anxious, no friends, no one to talk to, no school, and practically no life. I'm not sure what to do at this point. When I leave my home i'm always alone with nobody to talk to and it makes me really self conscious, I'm always worried about what people think of me and when people laugh or smile around me I assume it's because of something to do with me, I feel like I no longer have the social skills I use to, I remember always being easily able to talk to anybody and be social and enjoy my time with whoever I meet and make sure to leave a great impression but now no matter who I talk to I just feel like a huge loser who is just wasting their time or just someone who they'll talk to their friends and laugh about later over something I said or did. Aside from that, I get anxious thinking to much considering the fact that I have no one to talk to I just think about nonsense, things that never happened like horrible images in my head that just make me uncomfortable and just worsen my anxiety and make it harder to do anything at all and I just find myself stuck on these ridiculous ideas and things that could potentially happen to me when I know full well they wont and never have but I still feel like I'm purposely torturing myself with things that just aren't true and I cannot figure out why.
Right now I've got another month to wait before I begin school again and hopefully start getting my life back together and In the meantime i have picked up some sports but I really feel like I am just so lost and afraid and I have no idea what to do, whenever i go out to do anything i'm just worried anxious and it heavily impairs whatever I try to do and makes it harder because I'm afraid of looking foolish.
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I have been getting a clicking noise when I blink my eyes. I was not too worried about it since it has not affected my vision. But recently I have been getting excessive tears in the eye concerned. I think there might be some sticky discharge also, it makes my vision blurry. what should i do please?
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I haven't had a period for 3 months could suboxon be to blame ? I've been on Surboxon for 6 months and haven't had a period for 3 months could suboxon be to blame I took a home pregnancy test that said negative however in the past it took a blood test to determine my past pregnancy.
Also what prescription pain meds, anti depressant, and sleep and weight loss medications are safe to take while on Suboxon, if I'm not pregnant of course my pain management Dr took me off all of these medications I've taken for awhile and I really need them I think she is under educated about suboxon also if I am pregnant is it safe to take Suboxon..
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where do i start....suffered with migraines since a child now 42, since car accident which was almost 8 years ago migraines have become worse.
i get 2/3 migraines a weeks and the after effects can last up to 2/3 days which can also including feeling sick etc
im already on medication for migraines and gp has now put me on paramax... had a migraine yest so took my first tablet must admit made me very sleepy but woke with no side effect from migraine can only describe it as bad hangover effect
anyone else take paramax??
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I've had anxiety 24-7 for over a year now. I continue to work but it is so hard,because i am a waitress. I've been on wellbutrin and it seems to make it worse. Monday I change over to celexa. Hope this is gonna work for me. Has anyone been on celexa for anxiety and did it work.
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I've suffered from bad acne from the age of 18 and previously I have been on a course of Tetralysal combined with the contraceptive pill Dianette which did really work wonders. However they did take about 12 months to work and after a while my skin became almost immune to the Tetralysal. I was off Tetralysal for a while and when I went back on it recently I did notice some difference but I felt that it just wasn't doing enough for me. My GP has now prescribed Oxytetracycline and after only taking it for 2 weeks I have noticed large painful boils on my chest and back (I have not previously suffered with this) and the acne on my face is now more painful and seems to be more red and aggravated.
Is it a case of 'it will get worse before it gets better' and I should wait it out for an improvement? Or is this a sign that Oxytetracycline isn't for me and should I go back to my GP even though it's only been 2 week?
Obviously the worsening of my skin doesn't really do much for my confidence and I do feel that it is getting worse day by day. I'd rather nip this is in the bud now if the medication doesn't work for me before my skin gets much worse.
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