I'm 17 and been suicidal for five years, i want to die all the time, preoccupation with suicidal thoughts has affected everything like my studies a sudden plummet in my academic score and physical health too, i only weigh 39 kg n im 5"3 tall girl. I want to die all the times i don't want to live Is this normal?
View 1 RepliesExperiencing negative thoughts, paranoid thoughts, and extreme anxiousness where I am focusing on dumb things. Do I stop taking it? I don't have a follow up doct apt for another 5 weeks
View 5 RepliesFor the past 3 months I have thoughts of death and dying, almost everyday I feel a choking feeling around my throat and neck area and I keep thinking that I would suffocate. It's gotten to the point where I panic on a daily basis thinking that I'm going to die.
View 2 RepliesSometimes I think I'm going crazy. I'm not being able to even hold a job right now. This makes my self esteem goes downhill and I can't get up of my bed because I fear people.
i'm a mid 30s woman and I'm not sure what made me become so sick. I have a string of failed relationships and in one of them I suffered domestic abuse. I started dating my current boyfriend as soon as my other relationship ended and had too many problems with him but we are still together. He is an ex addict and I'm always afraid he turns back to drinking and doing drugs.
sometimes I think I'm getting insane. I have panic attacks all the time, I can't process my feelings. I tried group meditation but I became too scared of people in general I just gave up. I'm locked home for a whole month now.
im truly thinking about ending my life. I don't see a point. My whole being is taken with these bad sensations, feelings, lack of hope, lack of control, my thoughts flow uncontrollable like a river and I just can't process anything. I'm getting old and I am a huge burden to everybody.
I don't wanna die. I wanted to know if anyone went through these hard times like me and was able to live again.
I am on a serious suicide path. I can't think straight. all I have are negative thoughts flowing through my head. I sitting here with a knife about to cut myself because there's no other way I can relive the pain. I don't know what I need right now. I need help I know that. I need a friend. I don't have friends. I have not a single person in my life that understands me in any way possible. I just want someone to listen and not criticize me. Or judge me. I am so tired of being judged. My head hurts so bad right now... everything hurts. There isn't anyone I can talk to...no one cares. Just someone please please help me before I do something dangerous to myself that can't be fixed. I don't want to hear a single "I'm sorry_______" because I know your not.
View 4 RepliesI am new to this site and have been having alot of issues as of late. About a year ago I was diagnosed with depression and anxiety. Even with medication I was having a hard time with life and due to this was let go from my job. I lost my medication when I lost my insurance. I began to spiral and crashed hard about a month ago. When I get depressed I become self destructive. I started drinking heavily, self harm mutilation, and had an affair with a stripper in which I received oral sex. When I sobered up a bit the guilt got to me so much I had to be hospitalized for suicidal thoughts. I am on new medication (buspar, wellbutrin xl, and remeron) but still have an issue with guilt and anxiety about the affair and possible std I may have gotten. I can't stay out of my head and still have many suicidal thoughts. I broke down and let my wife know what happened, for her part she is mad but willing to work it out. Any advice would help. Also do any of my meds cause horrible stomach cramps?
View 1 RepliesI have a son who thinks he is going to die young and is causing him anxiety everyday it is literally spoiling his life, He is fit and healthy other than this as he plays sports. The thing is this, I need to help him get over this and I need help with technics to make him well again. Any suggestions that helped you overcome this feeling of death?
View 4 RepliesI am a girl and I am 21. I'd to know if I suffer from anxiety or maybe it's just a crisis that will soon pass. However,every single day I wake up thinking that another day passed and we all are getting older as a result. I can't stand the idea that one day I will lose my parents. Of course no one wants it but the thing is that I can't control these scary thoughts and whenever I have fun with my parents or close people I unwillingly start to think that one day this day will be just a memory.This is so overwhelming.I can't enjoy even a moment that's why I prefer being alone. The fact that my parents are much older than the parents of my friends makes it even worse. I count days, months, try to see if they have too many wrinkles.It is so unfair to them but I can't help doing it.I love them too much but I get that this is not normal.I used to be a very calm,happy,rational girl but after graduation I don't see the girl I used to be.
View 6 RepliesI apparently suffer from health anxiety I have chest pressure and breathless every day and also have obsessive thoughts of death I keep thinking I have cancer or i'm going to die and leave my family does anyone else feel this way.
View 1 RepliesI know the title is a lot to take in but I am hear because it is going on 3 months that I have been going through this. I smoke weed not for the first time or anything but in a while. And I felt like I was actually dying. Now I am not dead at all but this sh*t had me scared to death. And now it's been 3 months and my thoughts won't go back to normal. And I am scared. It's like I can't be happy because what if I just drop dead and die. And I am scared that I will drop dead at anytime. And then I had thoughts like is it really my time to die and I say no. I have to much to live for.
I know I sound like I am whining but I am on here looking for someone who has been through this. Someone who has had these thoughts, panic attacks, head aches, and chest pains. And how they dealt with it and/or got over it. I will also keep posting my progress if its get good or bad. Because I seen some forums and they just stop messaging back and I was scared what happened to them through time.
I have and still do suffer from anxiety and depression. And recently have been having negative thoughts, things I shouldn't. I feel like such a terrible person because I know that's not me I couldn't hurt a fly. And I feel like i'm all alone, i'm ashamed of my own self, its worst when i'm alone it's like I get lost in my own mind and I hate it. I'm on medicine for my anxiety, and have a doctors appt coming up. Is this occurring because of my anxiety/depression? Am I the only one?
View 2 RepliesDoes anyone know if Sertraline causes negative thoughts or is it because of my anxiety it just i'm not as depressed as before but can't get rid of these negative thoughts and I think it's that what's making me feel down been on 5g for 5 weeks then 100mg for a week
View 18 RepliesI've been on 20mg for 16 weeks and upped to 30mg 3 weeks ago every morning I wake up I have high anxiety and negative thoughts this seems to ward off about 5pm has anyone had this problem and will it get better with time.
View 6 RepliesOk, so just a short introduction about myself. I'm currently 25, I'm a male with chinese ethnicity. My nickname is Jas. I came from a pretty well-off family (enough to get me my needs and some of my wants) . I have a couple of caring but overprotective parents. I went through my entire "going-to-school" life with them. I graduated with a decent course and was successful in getting my professional licence. Life was really great that time for me, but i think I only felt that way because I was naive back then.
Anyway... As soon as I started working, I left home for good. I went into a different city and started to become an independent person. I was around 21-ish that time. This is when I became conscious of my behaviours and holes within myself. I think, a big part of this is due to me staying with my parents for a very long time, which probably delayed my maturity, but hey, let's not live in the past. Let's focus on what we have right now.
So when I started to become conscious with my own movements, I looked for ways to improve myself - I spent long hours in a day to reflect how my day went, how i behaved in front of other people, etc... When I started, it was really bad - i didn't know how to carry myself in public, people would most often laugh at me. One thing i noticed also is that I craved for attention - I was needy. I didn't know how to construct my thoughts properly. I didn't even know how to know what I feel for a certain scenario. I was really bad that time, trust me... If i write all of them here, this will be a VERY LONG list. Oh well, that was the past. But over time, I was able to get some of the negative traits out. I gained more control over myself now. But there are some that I can't get out:
1. Negative intrusive thoughts - thoughts of people laughing at me... thoughts of people bullying me. It's one that keeps on going my head OVER and OVER again. I have read some of the forums and took the advise to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. yeah it sure helped, but when i'm under pressure, i just lose control of myself. For example, one of the things i'm interested with is music... singing.. playing musical instruments. I could very well do those stuff if i'm alone, but if i'm in front of several people, thoughts like people laughing at me creeps into my mind, then i lose control with myself. I don't know why, but I'm so overwhelmed with my emotions, that I lose control of myself completely.
2. Social anxiety - Back then, I was really afraid of people. I don't know what to do in social gatherings (i was the one who sits in the corner and eats cheese). Soon, of course, i had to face my fear and had to start talking with people. I think i found some success in it. Although, my biggest problem right now i think is approaching groups. it's like i feel fear even before i do anything. I think my reasoning also break down quite easily when i'm under pressure (like for unexpected circumstances/responses...).
I have had anxiety issues since I was a kid but this last year or two has been the worst it's ever been for me. I find myself always reverting back to my negative thinking ways. I haven't seen a therapist or a professional because frankly I can't afford it and I always end up chickening out when I do find a somewhat affordable place.
I've been researching alot about different anxiety disorders and I'm most relatable to that of OCD and I definitely feel I have depression as well. I'm sorry if my post is a little excessive but I find that even writing it all down, gives me some relief of all the stress I feel. I would really love any feedback and any type of help you could all give me.
I am constantly making myself feel like I'm a bad person. I have a lot of negative thoughts running through my mind on a daily basis. I will bring up bad memories from the past of things that I did wrong or when I had made bad judgements. It's really hard for me to try and move on from past mistakes. I am always saying in my head, "I should of did this" and "why didn't I do that instead." I beat myself up over things I can't change. I notice that anytime there is something that is going good for me, I will find reasons why I don't deserve it or why I'm not worthy of having it in my life.
I also have panic attacks when driving alone. I always worry that I hit someone or something and didn't realize it or notice. I turn the radio down real low so that I can hear every noise just in case. I get so nervous and worried that I will check my car a bunch of times just to see if there's any type of damage or difference. I think the worst if I feel a bump or hear any type of ding.
I think the biggest thing that triggers my anxiety disorder is my fear of how people perceive me to be. I really need reassurance from others in order to feel like I'm doing things right or that I'm a good person. Everything I do or say in front of people, I analyze. I try and figure out what they are thinking and how they are judging me. I just want everyone To like me and think I'm a good person. I try to relate to everyone so that they have a positive view of me. I am always in fear of people getting the wrong idea or misinterpreting something I said and in doing so, they think I'm a terrible person.
I also get really stressed out whenever I go into stores because I get worried that the people working there will think me or the person I'm with is trying to shoplift. I will as far as buying something I don't even really want just so that they don't think I went there just to steal something.
When leaving the house, I go over everything in my head and if I'm not sure whether I locked, shut or turned something off before I left, I worry the entire time something will happen to my dogs while I'm away because of it. Like if I don't make it apparent that I checked all candles were blown out, then I will just worry that my house will burn down with my dogs in it......
All throughout my life I have had good opportunities that I have thrown away because of how I felt at the time, jobs, women, holidays etc etc I threw them all away because of my negative thoughts and self doubts... And its here again, i think!
I currently have a job that is very comfortable, money is good, not too far away from home and its easy to do... Its just boring as hell! Today I spent 2 hours doing nothing at all, and that's not me, Im not that type of person. Sure I kick back for half an hour after a busy spell but I actually like to be busy.
Anyway, I have been offered another job by my old boss. We get on great and its a very interesting, challenging job also the same money.
So whats the problem? The new job is three times further away than my current job which is still only 24 miles in total. I was up for the challenge this morning and very positive about it but as the day has gone on I have worn myself out with worry. I cant seem to shake the fact that, in my mind, its just too far away. It will be a 52 mile round trip and about an hours commute.
All I can think is that it is too far, will cost too much and that I will end up fed up and depressed. I will be all anxious at home etc etc and then have to quit and let down my boss and probably ruin our friendship.
I know there is an element of thinking over a new job and is it worth it but why can't I think of all the good things about it.
I have done this so many times in my life and end up not following through with things because it makes me worry too much. Like its safer to stay bored than challenge myself. I don't know what to do!
Over the past 3 years I've practically shut myself out of every social situation I can think of, not because of fear but because I'd rather be playing video games. Over the course of those 3 years I've lost all my friends and postponed school, work, and relationships. Coming to this point where I realize what I've done I became anxious, no friends, no one to talk to, no school, and practically no life. I'm not sure what to do at this point. When I leave my home i'm always alone with nobody to talk to and it makes me really self conscious, I'm always worried about what people think of me and when people laugh or smile around me I assume it's because of something to do with me, I feel like I no longer have the social skills I use to, I remember always being easily able to talk to anybody and be social and enjoy my time with whoever I meet and make sure to leave a great impression but now no matter who I talk to I just feel like a huge loser who is just wasting their time or just someone who they'll talk to their friends and laugh about later over something I said or did. Aside from that, I get anxious thinking to much considering the fact that I have no one to talk to I just think about nonsense, things that never happened like horrible images in my head that just make me uncomfortable and just worsen my anxiety and make it harder to do anything at all and I just find myself stuck on these ridiculous ideas and things that could potentially happen to me when I know full well they wont and never have but I still feel like I'm purposely torturing myself with things that just aren't true and I cannot figure out why.
Right now I've got another month to wait before I begin school again and hopefully start getting my life back together and In the meantime i have picked up some sports but I really feel like I am just so lost and afraid and I have no idea what to do, whenever i go out to do anything i'm just worried anxious and it heavily impairs whatever I try to do and makes it harder because I'm afraid of looking foolish.
Okay so, I'm 20. Um okay so, i keep having thoughts about my ex.. Me and him have been in a very toxic relationship for years since high school and I feel as though it was just so toxic that it didn't allow us to grow or to really be who we truly are.. But.. Yeah we weren't together anymore and all he wants now is just sex from me.. And I'm so attached I dream about him with other girls and I constantly think about the arguments we had things he has said things I have said just constantly playing back things and now I'm starting to talk to myself like I my head I'm starting to be nicer to myself and allowing those thoughts to just come and go and I am constantly forgiving myself and telling myself that I cannot control any of those situations and I tell myself that or worrying and overthinking will not resolve anything but just makes matters worse... And I have repetitive thoughts about anything that I feel so insecure about, I've started praying and asking God to help me.. Is there anything else I can do? I've also started meditating I don't do much like I just started getting back into school consistently everything that I do is inconstant. Everything so I'm starting to be better at things
View 1 RepliesI have suicidal thoughts every day, real vivid ones, I know where, when, how etc. sometimes I cry and I'm not sure why and when i start it can be hours till I've stopped completely, I don't mean all out bawling btw, just teary really, but that's the bad days most the time I feel fairly content, I can laugh and joke and go out with friends. I think I've lost my purpose in life I feel like I don't know why I'm here or what I'm meant to do but I don't feel what I imagine depression to feel like.
Throughout this though the good and bad I think of suicide every day like I said but every thought ends with me being found in time, ends with me being saved.
Do you think I need help and if so where do you go and what do you say? I'm not good at expressing myself or talking to people, none of friends or family know I feel this way. Is this normal ?
Do I just need to man up and get on with life?
At least i can admit that. Im suicidal. I have suicidal thoughts. I cut myself but not so i bleed just so it hurts. I've been suicidal since i was younger but not its worse. I isolate myself a lot. I'm never truly happy. I feel useless, unloved, hated ect. I'm sad a lot but pretend like nothing is wrong so i dont have to hear 5 or more speeches 20 minutes -1 hour long from my family to be treated the same way again in 3 weeks. Or be asked what's wrong only to lie. I don't have any true friends and no one will listen without giving me useless advice. So im pretty much here to ask if there's any online therapist sites that anyone can direct me to. I don't want my family to know. They found out once and it was like living in hell. They thought i was crazy, "helped", lied to me, treated me like i was mentally ill. It wasn't fun and i can't tell them the real reason i want to do it so that was fun. So if anyone can help me. Please don't say tell your mom because she can't and won't help, talk to the counselor at your school because all she did was made me cry for two hours straight, don't do it because i've heard that from friends, teachers, family and on here way too many times anything like that. I have trust issues so that's why I'm asking for online... It's easier for me.
View 11 RepliesI'm 19 and was diagnosed with anxiety and panic attacks about 3 weeks ago and i got prescribed klonopin. anyways a week after i was diagnosed with depression i started feeling very down and not myself like i didn't even want to get up from bed or take showers or go out i just layed there and cried most of the time and had suicidal thoughts. so i finally decided to see a doctor and was diagnosed with depression and given fluoxetine 20mg i been on it for about 4 days, but this medicine is making me feel really out of it and for the past two days i have woken up feeling very agitated and fidgety and sometimes i don't even feel like myself i've heard this is called depersonalization and it feels awful i also feel like i've gotten more angrier with the medication, things annoy me more easily. sometimes i just sit there and i just wanna scream. overall i think my anxiety has gone away its just the depression now and it sucks i just wanna feel like myself again and i'm scared i never will.
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