Anxiety :: Afraid To Die
Mar 30, 2016
i went to the ER yesterday coz i am having stabbing pains on the left side of my chest and my left arm in feeling weak...i thought i am having a heart attack and feeling very anxious...the doctor then examined me and ask for my family history so in the end he said i'm having hypertension and unstable angina and prescribed meds for the blood pressure and the chest pains...he said that i would be in that meds for a lifetime now that i have to accept in even at the young age coz i inherited my father's sickness...honestly i am not convinced of the diagnosis coz i failed to mention that my bp isn't really that high on normal days and the chest pains come and go though he also said that if the chest pains come and go it is why it is called unstable angina and it will never go back to normal since i have it already. on normal days my bp range from 120-130/80-100 so that isn't that bad i think...what i think i really need is the reassurance that this is just anxiety...the truth is i'm afraid to die that's why every weird feeling i get i automatically think that there's something wrong with me, or that i am sick and the "what if's" thoughts came rushing in and my mind is racing...that when my heartbeat started to race, then i fell dizzy and more thoughts will came till i cant contain it and feel like fainting. i can't stop the "what if" thoughts and every time it stumble my mind it caused me to what i believe are panic attacks...my body is in constant pain: back, neck, head and limbs...usually accompanied by numbness and tingling sensations...sometimes there are cold spots in my chest too...i always feel bloated, belching, gagging, stomach pains and sometimes choking feeling...my stomach aches as soon as i finished eating and is usually followed by diarrhea. there are times that i feel so alone even though i am surrounded by family and friends that i know truly cared for me... and i have trouble sleeping since i got this weird feelings...i am afraid to sleep whenever i feel these symptoms coz i'm afraid i will never be able to wake up again... i tried laying down and deep breathing whenever i feel my heartbeat in starting to race and it helps a bit...reading also helps as it takes my mind out of what i am currently thinking...i tried taking melatonin 3mg last night and i don't think it is good for me as all i can feel if my head is spinning and i wake up every hour...we are trying to get an appointment to a psychiatrist on april 4 hoping they can tell me what's going on coz i feel like i can't deal with this no more and feel like losing my mind...and i hate it! i just want it to stop now coz i can't be myself...i want to try doing exercise but i am afraid it will make my heartbeat faster or even cause a heart attack...also whenever i go out..i feel dizzy that's why i stay in most of the time...i have difficulty concentrating and seems like my mind is at random thinking of all kinds of thing..most of it makes me anxious too! can anyone please give me a good advice on how to deal or lessen this until i get checked by someone or therapy coz i feel like i am loosing it...
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I know i am irrational a lot of the time, but i'm afraid of an aneurysm. Ok so a few days ago i felt this pain in my neck (right side) and idk if it was muscle pain, but it seemed that whenever i did turn my head to the right it would hurt a little bit more. I was feeling it for maybe 2 days. Now I feel a pain in my forehead (right side). I woke this morning and it started maybe 15 mins after i woke up (it did not wake me up from my sleep). Its on and off now. What can this be? Is it a regular headache?
My blood pressure is normal. It does feel like my eyes are sensitive to the brightness, for the past few days. I'm not congested or anything. No nausea, no weakness, i do feel a little lightheaded.
my anxiety is not making anything better.
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Does this sound like how anxiety works to you? I feel like I become so afraid of the things that have made me feel scared in the past. And, of course, with anxiety, the things that have made me feel scared form a very long list.
This then is what keeps anxiety going. For example, "once I had a panic attack while waking up, now I always feel scared when getting up in the morning".
Does this sound familiar?
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In the days after the night that I consumed the drug, I felt extremely lightheaded, nauseous, couldn't sleep, heart was racing, and I was very worried that I had done permanent damage to myself or my brain. As the weeks have gone by, the nauseousness and insomnia have gone away, but I still am feeling lightheaded and dizzy. Everyone that I was with felt completely back to normal after a day or two, and it seems I am the only one who feels this way. It is better than it was the week after, but by no means do I feel normal. I am now extremely worried and having extreme anxiety that I will feel like this forever and that I have permanently messed myself up.
Does anyone know what could be wrong with me? I just want to feel normal again. I have been to two doctors, each of whom has taken a blood test from me, and they told me that the blood tests came back normal. They both told me that the lightheadedness and dizziness would both subside, and that I needed to stop worrying about it, but it has now been almost 4 weeks and I am still feeling the same way.
I am just really scared that I have messed up and ruined my life by taking that one drug one time.
PS; I am fully aware what a mistake it was to take the drug in the first place. I understand that whatever I am feeling I deserve, and I will never come close to doing any hard drug ever again.
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I am currently suffering a severe bout of anxiety - the 4th in my life. I am 41 and a single parent I'm trying to manage without medication although have taken it in the past. My body is testing me with different symptoms every few weeks. The one i'm struggling with at the moment is bad eye floaters. I know i have them its just they 'appear' (i hope) to be worse and this is making me really stressed and panicky. Has anyone else had this and then they improved or their attitude to them improved? I feel like i'm going to go blind or something and it is really getting me down. I am a trying to manage this so i can have a life with my son.
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I finally had freedom when I moved out on my own at 21 and met a guy around my age who I thought was going to be with me forever. Well time went on we got close and ended up doing something brief that resulted in no ejaculation and it was without a condom only the tip of the head was in me. Shortly after found out via vs phone that he talks with other women. Even though his social network he is a male *****. This happened in March so I got tested for HIV at 3 weeks after this and I was negative. I then got tested 5 weeks after and was negative. I never went back to a conclusive result bc I'm not close to a clinic. However the Dr told me I have no chance at contacting anything.
Months went by and around May we made up again and this time ALL THE WAY. I made sure this time he wore a condom. I don't recall any breaking or slipping. He was going in and fully out each time he stroked so it gave me a better way to look at the condition of the condom. I was feeling at ease at losing my virginity and wearing a condom but all of a sudden 2 days later he told me had a job transdermal and all of a sudden my anxiety and OCD came in full force. He said he had to move and don't want long distance.
Not only that 2 weeks later I had a moderate common cold and this had heightened my anxiety even more because it had me thinking that it was an ARS symptom. I don't understand how the symptoms work most sites say many come down with a flu or a cold. I'm not sure and it's confusing. I began to frantically Google and harass him through text messages about his HIV status he ignores me and don't reply. I'm afraid he knows something I don't.
I also Google a lot about HIV and everywhere I look I see nothing but things about hiv. I recently even had a dream I turned out to be positive. I'm terrified. I'm stressing so much my period has stopped and spots are coming in my hair from no where. I thought if I had sex with a condom I would be at ease.
I decided to go take a test on the 18th. I'm afraid it will be positive. This fear has ruined my whole summer. I still message him and he still ignores me. He has even changed his number.
My dad is a pastor and is very religious. They always speak on no sex before marriage because it is AIDs in the world Now I feel like I will be punished with HIV because of my ability to not abstain. I haven't talk to my parents about this terrible anxiety because I don't want to be judged.
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