Anxiety :: Lymphoma Fear
Aug 20, 2015
I need some help with health anxiety at the moment. I know I'm terrified of my own mortality before I transition/ I'll start off I'm 14, and ever since last year I've been having skin problems. Last June, I started getting these weird red spots (I thought I had Leukaemia) whenever friction or heat was put on to wear I had waistbands, so underwear. This has come back occasionally but not much and I figured it was heat rash, but then in the winter I started getting itchy whenever I was lying in bed at night on the outside of my thighs. This stopped and really didn't worry me at the time, as it soon subsided. In May this year I got hit with a bout of health anxiety where I convinced myself I had Lymphoma because I felt lumps in my neck and then I got itchy, this is probably from reading the symptoms. I went to the Doctor's, and I was told there were no lumps in my neck as she couldn't feel anything and I was so happy. Then my sister got diagnosed with cancer the next week, crazy, right? Considering that the cancer she has (salivary gland) kept popping up when I was Dr.Googling, I thought it was my fault. However, since my sister received the diagnosis, my HA has become more frequent. I had it bad before but it was only roughly three times a year I'd convince myself I had cancer or some disease. However, I've now progressed into scaring myself my mum, dad and my other sister had cancer. They're fine, but I'm convinced I'm not. This Lymphoma fear has recurred about three times since, and now it's back again. I've had some mild itching around my collar bone, sternum, top leg, and rib. It's surface area, although I say mild, sometimes it did feel deep especially when my leg was itchy and when I do itch hives come up and then disappear again? I thought I was getting bit at first. I've also had an itchy scalp but I think I've always had that. But now, of course I've read that people had itching for years before they got diagnosed with Lymphoma so I'm scared that I'm going to get symptoms in the future. I just don't want to die, not so young and I'm afraid. I'm afraid everyone I love is going to die and it's really not good. I'm so excited to transition and I want to get my GCSE results next year and join the RAF and most of all transition. This thing really holds me back from enjoying myself, anyone have any words of wisdom?
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My name is Kevin I have movable lump under/around my left collarbone. It seems to have become slightly larger over past three years, feels smooth and round but is firm (cant be squished too easily). It sits almost behind collarbone but just on the underside of it. It can be moved on top of collarbone and also from side to side a bit. Not sure size (possibly 2 cm). I am concerned that it is lymph node and possibly lymphoma or liposarcoma. I have no other symptoms. Male age 38 non smoker.
Anyone with a similar experience would be a huge help to share their story. Thanks in advance
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I have always suffered from health anxiety and about a month ago, I grew a small lump on the left side of my neck. I was told that it was a lymph node, but it seems odd as it hasn't disappeared for a month now.
It is sometimes sore, but generally there is no pain and no fatigue, and I am generally healthy. Currently, a pimple is growing right on the lump as well, so I am wondering if that has to do with anything.
I do have acne so bacteria there is a possibility, plus allergies have been bad this year.
I had it checked and was told by a doctor not to worry and it was harmless. However, I am still worried. Could this develop into something if it doesn't go down, and why has it stayed there for so long?
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Suffered from OCD / sleep phobia for many years
Currently taking seroquel & occasionally zopiclone. Also in the past taken clomipramine
Here's the problem
I'm obsessing about sex. Firstly few months ago was worried about being able to perform (get hard)
Managed to get through this, did feel very down though. Now I'm obsessing about premature ejaculation, every time I have sex it's always on my mind to the point now where I can ejaculate too quick. This is causing me horrendous depression & I feel like I'm wasting my days. See I took a clomipramine tablet the other week & this cures premature ejaculation for me but I feel a failure to take it and feel like it will eventually not work. I rationally realise I'm creating the problem but have no control to the point where the problem is created.
All I'm thinking everyday every second is about arriving to soon. My partner is supportive and thinks I haven't got a problem but I feel funny down below. I can last longer by masterbating before sex but have read this is not a long term solution. I feel so anxious and sad that life seems difficult
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Ok so I haven't went to the dentist in about 3-4 years. Our dentist a while back was giving us problems, like basically bad customer service. And the main guy was just an a-hole. So I stopped going to them and then after like 2 years I said to myself damn this is really unhealthy I really should go, but our insurance end up canceling, and I finally got back insurance this year about 3 months ago.
Now I'm like terrified of going back. I know I have to get my wisdom tooth extracted because it's been hurting, it's coming out and my mouth has no space. I have health anxiety and I read A LOT of stories online of people who died after getting their tooth extracted. Like I read about how this girl had a stroke, this guy choked on gauze, and someone had this procedure done and a piece of their tooth broke off and made it to their brain.
I've had surgery before and when I had it a few years ago I did my car or really think,about the side effects I just went in and got it done, but since my anxiety has been so bad (all thought better than before) I look into every possible (mostly bad) situation.
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I've been on citalopram now for the last 2 years for what started from work induced stress causing anxiety attacks and depression. However, I've since started a new and better job but anxiety and panic is all still there, even depression. My anxiety now seems to be focused around something more worrying that work, it's now caused by thoughts of death, not so much the process of dying but the inevitability of death, the idea that is is nothingness after death and also how I perceive time being quick. I'm 24 years old with 2 beautiful daughters but feel like it was yesterday that I was 16. My panic attacks are awful with terrible heart flutters and light headedness. Felt derealisation/personalisation symptoms more times than I can count. Some attacks have leave me physically sick and bed bound for a whole day.
These thoughts were just an every now and then thing but now it's almost constant. I've read all sorts to try and stop this fear of death. I've read scientific theories or reports into the survival of consciousness etc etc...
It's gone too far and now I'm booking my first cbt session but I was considering also hypnotherapy as well. Is there anyone else that has had or that has this sort or anxiety? Has anyone also tried hypnotherapy alongside medication and cbt?
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Does anyone have a constant feeling that something bad is gonna happen? I'm going out clubbing tonight and I just have this weird feeling that it's not gonna happen or I'm just gonna go suddenly crazy!
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Since I was a child, my fear of vomiting was a serious issue for me. As I age- the anxiety and fear has become much worse. I'm afraid for my life and general well being.
I have met a lot of people and read a bunch of online cases about the same fear. I know I am not alone. In my case, anxiety and depression is genetic from both sides of my family. More so on my maternal side. I am severely affected by this as well as thought triggered panic attacks. It doesn't help that I suffer from OCD as well. My brain is out of control and very frustrating to live a 'normal' life this way. One part of my brain knows it's just fear, negative thoughts...and that vomiting/gagging is a normal human function, however, the other part of my brain completely freaks out sending my body into complete panic attacks. I cannot express how tired my mind and body is from all of this. I'm panic stricken day and night, 24/7. My mind doesn't stop and constantly worried about getting sick or the possibility of when I can eat. Or all of a sudden I will remember something or past experience, even fabricating a familiar taste in my mouth which instantly makes me feel so sick i'm freaking out. These are my daily battles....When I can sleep, that is pretty much the only time my anxiety isn't affecting me but I have trouble sleeping as is with an overactive mind. Even brushing my teeth has become a worry as I constantly feel nauseous and gaggy because of how short my nervous system is.
I have lost about 15 lbs over the past 4-5 years. I now weigh 100 lbs roughly. This fear/phobia has tainted my mind in ways where i overthink every situation. As a food lover, i fear my overall health as I struggle to eat. The sight and smells of food...common foods i love....turn my stomach around and make me severely nauseous. When i can/do eat, i feel more nauseous from digestion.
I am not currently on any antidepressants even though my doctor suggested me to start again. I'm very hesitant as I was on them for over 13 years and feel that they have messed up my head and caused alot of my gastrointestinal issues I now face. I do however take clonazepam quite frequently when I feel out of control. Which isn't a permanent or long term goal of mine to continue taking. I know this has long term effects.
Even though I am aware this is all psychological, I can't stop this. I am 35 years old and a single mother. With this fear it makes it very difficult to care for my son when he is sick.
I have been off work now for almost 4 months because of the severity of this mental illness. I enjoy working and staying busy...but I have a difficult time even leaving the house now. I just want to enjoy life...go out with friends....take my son places without the anxiety and panic in my body and without the aid of mild tranquilizers. I need to see a Psychotherapist for cognitive therapy and maybe a hypnotherapist. ...but it's tough as both these services aren't covered under our countries health plan.
I have seen Holistic doctors and one gave me EFT (emotional freedom technique) 'tapping' methods to do on certain parts of the body that aren't helping much.
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I really have fear of vomiting and idk why i've been thinking i will vomit but i do not think i will. While sitting i was worried then felt like it will happen felt like a burn in my chest ( i do not have acid reflux ) also a fast really fast heartbeats, is that a panic attack? If so how can i avoid these or relax?
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I am a girl and I am 21. I'd to know if I suffer from anxiety or maybe it's just a crisis that will soon pass. However,every single day I wake up thinking that another day passed and we all are getting older as a result. I can't stand the idea that one day I will lose my parents. Of course no one wants it but the thing is that I can't control these scary thoughts and whenever I have fun with my parents or close people I unwillingly start to think that one day this day will be just a memory.This is so overwhelming.I can't enjoy even a moment that's why I prefer being alone. The fact that my parents are much older than the parents of my friends makes it even worse. I count days, months, try to see if they have too many wrinkles.It is so unfair to them but I can't help doing it.I love them too much but I get that this is not normal.I used to be a very calm,happy,rational girl but after graduation I don't see the girl I used to be.
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For as long as I can remember, I've been worrying about what others think of me. It's affected me so much that I can't go outside without feeling that I look as perfect as I can, and I must have everything (like a mobile, emergency money, pens, inhalers, lighters etc) that I could possibly need in any circumstance on my person- only with others with whom I am comfortable with. I won't ever go outside on my own. I can't use toilets where there's even a slight chance that anyone can hear me pee, even in my own house. It's as if my bladder locks up and I don't need to anymore (I've had infections because of this). I can't swallow food in social situations, and that's if I can bring myself to eat it in the first place (I feel as if everyone is looking at me). I can't orgasm in front of my partner, no matter how close I get. I can't go into my own garden anymore because of a fear that people can see me.
I'm here because I'm too scared to go to my doctor, on my own or with someone I'm close to, because I don't want to go to a semi-unfamiliar place and also because I don't want to talk about all this to a stranger- no matter how much I'm assured that they're professionals and will not judge me. I'm always uncomfortable, even alone. I'll do something that I wouldn't want to do in front of someone else, and I'll feel as if they were there and feel ashamed. It's stopping me from doing so many things that I want to, and I plan my days around whether I'll feel comfortable here or there, or if a restaurant has suitable toilets.
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I am struggling with existential depression, anxiety, fear of getting old and death, fear of losing and so on. Where does one find help with this? I'm having no success with therapists.
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I have ocd and gad. Lately when I close my eyes I see random images like faces. It usually happens when I am waking up or laying down at night. I have a huge fear of schizophrenia. My anxiety has been horrible the past few months. Does anyone else experience this? Is it schizophrenia?
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i've suffered from social anxiety since i was 13, i'm now 34. almost 4 years ago the stresses in my life got to much and something happened where i felt overwhelming stress, anxiety, panic and fear. i still to this day don't know what happened to me. these symptoms would last from morning till the evening for upto 2 months. it was the most scared i've been in my life and the fact i never got a break from the feelings made it literally unbearable.
i did manage to calm down after taking a different medication but the same thing happened again a year and a half later, maybe more disturbing as i knew what to expect. over 2 years on from whatever it was that happened to me and i've had those feelings again. i've been under stress again and some of those feelings have came back. i thought i could control it but my obsessive thoughts about feeling that way again have started to make me panic again and now i'm really worrying. someone said to me that i have to process what happened to me in the past else i won't get over this.
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I have a fear of my own heart, I'm completely convinced something is going to happen, Sometimes when I do things that make me anxious (physical activities are the worst) my thoughts are pretty much 'it's going to happen (I'll have a heart attack) anytime soon I'm going to keel over and die' .
I've had loads of tests done and I'm healthy, just have bad anxiety.
Does anyone else have this fear / phobia? If so what helped you get over it?
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I know the title is a lot to take in but I am hear because it is going on 3 months that I have been going through this. I smoke weed not for the first time or anything but in a while. And I felt like I was actually dying. Now I am not dead at all but this sh*t had me scared to death. And now it's been 3 months and my thoughts won't go back to normal. And I am scared. It's like I can't be happy because what if I just drop dead and die. And I am scared that I will drop dead at anytime. And then I had thoughts like is it really my time to die and I say no. I have to much to live for.
I know I sound like I am whining but I am on here looking for someone who has been through this. Someone who has had these thoughts, panic attacks, head aches, and chest pains. And how they dealt with it and/or got over it. I will also keep posting my progress if its get good or bad. Because I seen some forums and they just stop messaging back and I was scared what happened to them through time.
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does lymphoma always cause anemia?
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I went to bed last night, I felt a lump on the right side of my groin. I immediately began to panic (still am 12 hours later!) and have convinced myself I probably have cancer. The lump doesn't hurt, is hard, and doesn't move when I touch it. I'm too scared to tell anyone, especially my mum because I know she'll start to freak out.
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I have an inguinal lymph node that is enlarged. 2cm long verified by ultrasound. It has been like this for 7 weeks now. Pain started in June with testicle pain. Doctor diagnosed epididymitis. All testing came back negative. Eventually testicle pain went away but turned into groin pain in mid July. This prompted ultrasound that found enlarged lymph node in groin. The doctors deemed the lymph node as questionable. My doctor said it is nothing to worry about. My concern is that it is causing minor discomfort since mid July in the node itself as well as my upper right thigh, my right hip, and also in the area on my right side between hip and ribs. My doctor says the node is not an issue and I may have an inguinal hernia that is pressing on my femoral nerve causing referred pain. I think my lymph node hurts and whatever is causing it seems to be spreading. My doctor is not worried at all. I'm freaked out. I have no night sweats but I'm so scared that I barely eat or sleep. I lost 10 pounds my doctor said from stress. I gained it all back afterwards. Does this sound like lymphoma? My doctor thinks I'm paranoid and tells me not to worry. I am freaked out because it feels like no one cares or believes I'm in pain.
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I feel a lot of annoying pain in my neck best way to relate is a stiffness a lump looks like a swelled up the ENT said it was around 2 cm more long that wide close to the right side of jaw line but the top of the neck not too close to my ear but I've had terrible migraines on my right side as we'll night sweats loss of appetite, tiredness , the ENT sent me for a blood test for mono but my throat isn't sore and I am a little achy but I'm trying to not freak out waiting on the blood test if I don't have mono next is cat scan and ultra sounds....
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I found a pea size lump on my right side of neck in between my ear and collar bone but more close to collar bone. It does not hurt when I touch it but I have been touching it too much it causes the area to hurt. When I feel it it feels like it's on my neck muscle. I'm scared of what it could be. It's giving me anxiety and I just want to know if anyone else has had this or knows what it could be. I felt this a couple days ago I'm not sure how long I've had it but I did come down with a cold a couple days ago and a fever etc and I also had minor ear pain and my wisdom tooth seems to be a bit inflamed I can tell on my cheek. It might be from that but not sure. I'm taking antibiotics for the last couple days but ts still here. Not sure what to do I want to stop worrying.
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