Passat (B5) :: 2002 V6 Won't Start / No Spark Or Fuel

Freshly rebuilt 2.8 V6

Car turns over but is not getting spark or fuel. The timing is good (checked multiple times, and I have done numerous TBs on these engines). Compression is good.

The car has sat for ~2 months. It broke the timing belt (and bent or broke multiple valves), so I know it had both spark and fuel before this.

I have gone through and double checked every connection and everything is connected and seated properly. I used a stethoscope to listen to the injectors and there is no click during cranking, and using an extra plug I checked spark and there is none. I also hooked up my inductive timing light and it doesn't sense a spark.

I have VAG-COM and there are no fault codes. I have checked all fuses and they are good. If I do the tests on VAG-COM I can make the injectors cycle, but they don't cycle when cranking. I tested the crank position sensor (and tried a new one) and it tested good (and the new one made no difference). Using VAG-COM, I confirmed that it does sense the engine RPM when cranking. The battery voltage stays above 12V during cranking as well.

A couple other tidbits of info:

The fuel pump does work (and comes on when cranking... confirmed by disconnecting the hose and pumping fuel into a can)

When cranking for a few seconds, the display says STOP and flashes the oil light (I'm assuming because it is cranking at such low RPM)

The Check engine light and EPC light come on when the key is put in the on position and turn off during cranking (like they should)

The immobilizer light comes on for a few seconds as well, but it doesn't flash like it would if it was immobilizing the engine.

After looking at wiring diagrams, it appears that the ignition coils and the fuel injectors both run off of the same relay, but I am unsure which one or even if I am right about that. But assuming I am correct about that, wouldn't the injectors not fire during the test if that was bad?